The World Behind The Eyes
The word had been stuck on the tip of her tongue for the longest time. Sarah just couldn’t quite pin it down. The feeling had been buzzing about inside of her for weeks now, yet she couldn’t exactly put into words what she was feeling or even why. But it terrified her to her core. Why she had taken this case on she never knew. Sarah just hoped she wouldn’t live to regret it.
It had taken a lot out of her to admit something wasn’t right, yet after 6 sessions with her new client Sarah still couldn’t pin point the exact source or trigger of this feeling. Dr Reid was a patient woman. She was quite happy for Chloe to take it at her own pace. Deep down she knew that Chloe knew she just watched her. She would pretend she was writing notes for her next client or catching up on some reading but somehow Chloe knew that wasn’t strictly true.
For the umpteenth time this past hour Dr Reid, Sarah to her friends watched Chloe. She knew why she was here of course. Her previous therapist sent over her notes. Yet Chloe was yet to utter a single word not even the usual morning pleasantries. Sarah watched how she twirled her fingers in, out, around her auburn curls. Loose, not tight ones, that just fell delicately around the side of her face as if they were hugging her, protecting a delicate flower inside its layers. The action reminded her of being back in primary school. Of days when the girls couldn’t go outside to play in the rain so they would just sit there twirling their hair in each other fingers pretending they were superstar hairdressers.
Yet this didn’t look out of place on Chloe, it was endearing almost and Sarah couldn’t help but wonder where she was right now. Did the hair twirling transport her somewhere else. Is her mind wandering to a place unbeknown to Sarah or was it her way or trying desperately, silently to rid her head of of the cacophony of thoughts and events invading her memory right now. Sarah was desperate to know yet flummoxed at exactly how to help her newest client.
Still Chloe remained. piercing blue eyes locked and fixed on a point far, far ahead of her. A point, an object, something far in the distance. It was how they trained her you see. Disengage from the here and now. It protects you they said. Helps you remain you. Chloe believed them her notes said and perfected her amour safe in the knowledge she would still remain intact inside. But something went wrong. Did they know it would? Because she was affected, they all were affected. The 10 of them.
As she sat there inside the bland standard issue room with it’s oak paneled walls reaching up to the high ceilings, Chloe really wasn’t there. The 6 foot original sash windows didn’t come into view in front of her despite opening up the room from behind the floor length cream silk curtains that dramatically swept across the floor like a ball gown gracing the red carpet on awards night. She didn’t see it. All she saw was the dot. Dead ahead, in the distance, far far away from the screaming inside the room her physical self inhabited.
Her knees pulled in tight to her body as if bracing herself for whatever was coming next. The girl sitting in front of Sarah was a shell. A body but not a person. Perched on the window box and forgoing the comfort of the sofa with it’s mound of luxurious scatter cushions most patients loved. The ricking chair in the corner that helped to soothe others forlornly cast aside by Chloe as she chose resting place for the next 2 hours.
Sarah watched Chloe’s face intently as she stared through the window. She was told this would be how the sessions would go, yet she so desperately wanted to get inside her head. With a quick glance down at the sand timer on her desk, more discreet than a clock, the ticking upset some of her patients, she knew she was over halfway through. She hoped today would be the day. The day Chloe snapped back from her safe place. The day she came back from the awful place they sent her so she could help her back to her life to who she as before or to just help her.
Suddenly Chloe twitched. Her arm it was her arm. Sarah caught the briefest of movements out of the corner of her eye. Was she coming back, could she? Should she say something to help her, comfort her? What do you say to someone who has been through this and come back? Sarah had no idea. Her mouth became dry, as if the trepidation inside her was sucking all the water from her body, yet she couldn’t move. Frozen to the spot and in time, this was it. The moment everyone had been waiting for. For Chloe to come back and tell her story.
She twitched again, the violent jerking causing her hand to stop twirling and untangle them from the mass of curls where they been seeking comfort this past 90 minutes. Sarah was still frozen. All her professional capabilities washed away rendering her just another gawking scientist who literally had no clue what to make of what was happening to this poor girl. The girl they had chosen and ultimately reduced to this.
Suddenly Chloe’s head snapped up and for the first time Sarah really saw who she was and who was really left in there. A gut wrenching scream pierced the silence shattering the calm void that has previously been existing between the two of them only this time it wasn’t Chloe who was screaming……………………..
So……….. It’s been a while since I have written anything I think I wiped out my creative streak by trying to force it. This story ended up being 2 in 1. It started off being from Chloe about Chloe then ended being Sarah’s story. As usual this has written itself and at this moment I am at the same place as you all. My head is having some sort of crazy Interstellar ideas however I really don’t understand all the concepts fully in that film to even contemplate writing about it like that but I am excited to write more about this. I would love some nice constructive feedback, ideas, concepts or what you think is going on with Chloe right now. I think I just want to give her a hug and maybe not look into her eyes! If you would like to read more of my stories then please click the badge below.