How to Drink Tequila and Live Happily Ever After?

I have had so much fun writing about Sheila lately and this is the third and final instalment. Will she finally get her comeuppance? Or is Sheila in line for her happily ever after? Does she even deserve a happily ever after? I want her to have it, I have a little bit of a soft spot for our old murderous Sheila, but damn, she is ruthless isn’t she!

How to Drink Tequila and Live Happily Ever After!

Sheila fanned herself in the hot midday Mexican sun. “Well I’ll be damned” she mused as she cast her eye out from under her parasol on the beach. The day was only just easing away from the morning and already the view was getting better. She flicked her ankle and raised her leg as a group of men sauntered past her lounger. She should really go back to the hotel but the view was just too damn irresistible to drag herself away from.

She had only been here for 2 weeks and already she knew this was home. Sheila finally felt like she belonged after all this time. She let her mouth relax a little as she smiled and closed her eyes. This was her dream. Mateo was her dream. If only she hadn’t had to wait so long for it to come true. She was like a god damn Cinderella story. She had her prince, her new castle; well she would soon enough, Mateo was stinking rich and she was on her way to her happy ever after.

After all, Shelia Johnson didn’t exist anymore.

Tony – god rest his soul saw to that when he alerted Interpol to her Spanish hideout. So here she was living her best life as Deirdre. Only she was thinking she needed to change it up especially after marries Mateo. Deidre Diaz doesn’t really have a great ring to it, does it?

Sensing the shade blocking the warm rays from the sun, Sheila – sorry Deirdre prised an eye open from behind the oversized aviators she had picked up at the airport to see her beloved standing in front of her. Only he didn’t look like Mateo. His olive complexion seemed rather a little pale and his hands nervously fidgeting and a little sweaty too.

“Hello Sheila” he spoke. Only it wasn’t in his sexy Spanish lilt she had come to love. He was full on cockney. If she didn’t know better she would swear it was…… no, no it couldn’t be, could it? I mean, he was long gone. Dead and buried, Sheila knew that. She was the one that gave him his permanent bed in the ground.

Sheila closed her eyes again before taking a deep breath. Before she could open them again to look at Mateo, he spoke again. Only gone was the gruff authoritative voice that sounded like her dead husband and in its place was the nasal whine of Tony. The man she left behind on the tiled floor of her Spanish villa.

“What the ….” Sheila started as she opened her eyes. “Sheila, my love” purred that Spanish lilt she feared had gone, “are you ok my dear? You had a siesta and the lifeguard came to get me to check on you. Shall we retire to our room to get you out of this heat?”

Sheila sat up confused? Swivelling her head around, she took in the sight of the hunky Mexican lifeguard on duty at the beach in front of their 5-star hotel. He was a good enough reason to put off househunting on his own but she would never betray Mateo like that. He was her Amor verdadero.

Taking his hand gingerly she played to her strengths to keep the beautiful men fawning over her for as long as she could. Putting the voices of the men of Sheila past to the back of her mind she focused on the men of her future and the present. Drinking them in as they tended to her every whim. Feigning a fainting episode, the sculptured lifeguard took her in his arms as he swooped her out of Mateo’s grasp and up to their room on the 15th floor.

Sheila could see herself being very happy here in Mexico. Very happy indeed she thought as she settled down in bed for an afternoon nap. After all, they would be out all night drinking in the local culture and tequila of course. These days she preferred something stronger than pina colada to wet her appetite.

It was that thirst that woke her up a few hours later to a darkened hotel room, to all the curtains pulled closed around the room and no Mateo in sight. She needed a drink of any variety she thought as she stumbled out of bed tripping over something on the floor.

“Hello, Sheila” came that voice again.

The blood in her veins ran cold as she detected the accent that she had come to detest all those years ago. Derek! It couldn’t be though, could it? He was, well, you know, dead! Feeling around on the floor where she had fallen, the shape felt distinctly human-like and cold. His body wasn’t cold when she left him for dead that day on their bedroom floor, but it would be now he was dead and buried.

Panicked Sheila scrambled to regain her footing and her way to the window. She needed light, she needed to get out of this room. she was suffocating, she couldn’t breathe. Something was squeezing the life out of her. “Mateo” she screamed breathlessly “help me, please” but he wasn’t there. No one was it was just her and the body of her murdered husband in the dark hotel room.

A screaming Sheila collapsed at the foot of the biggest bed she had ever seen sobbing on the floor as she tried to hide under the bedsheets. Biting down on the bedding so Derek didn’t hear her she sobbed silently under the chaise lounge at the foot of the bed.

She waited like that for hours.

Her body and mind too terrified to face the scene that had scared her into this hiding place. Until she heard someone entering the room. She waited to hear Mateo’s voice, for him to come and rescue her but he didn’t.

“Nah boss,” said the man on the phone in a deep Brummie accent

“It’s all going to plan don’t worry. I don’t know where she is now, but this dummy on the floor and that recording of Derek seems to be working a treat. Don’t worry it won’t be long till I bring her in. She just needs to fall for my *ahem* I mean Mateo’s charms a little bit more before we have everything we need.”


Sheila could feel her head start to spin as she digested what she had just heard. No, he couldn’t? Her Mateo, was not really Mateo? Suddenly it all clicked into place. They had her. They well and truly had her not only for the murder of Derek but Tony too back in Benidorm.

This wasn’t how it was supposed to end she thought to herself. It really wasn’t. “This was my happy ending. I want my happy ending” Sheila silently raged under the bed. And she was damn well going to get it. With or without Mateo.

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