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To Believe or Not To Believe

Are you a believer or a sceptic? Are you swayed by what you read on the internet or do you take it all with a pinch of salt? Surely if it’s been posted on the world wide web there has to be some vestibule of truth in it doesn’t there? A grain of reality in amongst all the embellishment. To believe or not to believe that is the question isn’t it these days. With a wealth of knowledge and information at our fingertips it can be quite hard to filter the fact from the fiction.

We rely on it for all kinds of things don’t we. I for one use Dr. Google frequently. Self diagnosing a mere headache with life threatening and terminal conditions. However it was dead on the mark when Olivia was ill back in July 2016. So sometimes the internet can be our friend. Other times not so much.

I’m sure most of us have searched online for product reviews, tips/tricks/shortcuts before now haven’t we? Personally Christmas 2016 saw hundreds of people find my blog to check out my Furby review. My diet shake reviews are pretty popular too especially at this time of year. But let me ask you something, do you believe every word you read?

Just because I SAY (I really did to be totally honest) had success with a particular shake replacement diet is it the truth? The same goes for posts written on blogs. There are so many open letter style posts, posts about experiences, situations they have been in. Anything and everything is open to interpretation to be relayed back to others isn’t it. But when does it stop being the truth and just become a chopped up mess with parts missing resembling something that could be true because you took away the context it was in originally?

This is the situation I found myself in recently. The reason for my sudden blogging break in December. A friendship that had spilled over from blogging into my personal life turned sour for me. A situation appeared to look one way and taking it at face value I calmly explained to the other party my feelings on this. This is where things get messy really isn’t it. When feelings are involved. Either way, good or bad. They cloud your judgement. make you see what you want to see. Things are open to interpretation and can be used as weapons.

From a bloggers point of view their weapons are their words. I found myself the target of such weapons recently when someone wrote a post about being accused of stealing another bloggers post ideas and does any one person hold the rights to blog post ideas. The accuser was me. I apparently accused another blogger of stealing my posts. Big claims hey! How very dare I claim to have the rights to blog post ideas? I’m sure you’ve read it and slated me. In fact I put my money on it. More blog posts have spawned from this and at first I was angry. Then upset. Then angry again. But I kept quiet. I let them have their 5 minutes of fame. Why?

Well to me keeping a dignified silence spoke volumes. I have nothing to be ashamed of. I have truth (and the original message) on my side. This is where the point of this post comes into play. Should you believe everything you read online? And if you do why? Do you or have you picked sides based on reading just one side of the story? I’ll put my hands up I do, I have. Especially if the other party keeps quiet and you have nothing else to go on.

Am I right? Only this matter hasn’t died down and with each passing day more mud is slung at my door. More hateful and nasty words are being bandied round to describe the audacious woman who dared claim to hold rights over any post she wrote. So to believe or not to believe that my friends is the question. Especially as people are so quick to judge in this day and age. Climb right up there on their high horse without and regard for any facts or a second thought as to the pain and damage their words would cause. How would you feel if you were me? Without the chance to speak up for yourself, defend your actions, but still judged so quickly. It’s a slippery slope

What Would You Do?

Let me put this to you. Imagine you had a friend. A good close friend and both of you were pregnant at the same time. She was due a few weeks before you and was struggling to pick a baby name. You have yours all picked out and freely share this private information with her. Not many people know as you would like it to be a surprise. Plus lots of people before you will have used this name, as will many people after you. Uniqueness in baby names is hard to come by these days. Then you lose contact for a little while, life takes over, getting ready for a baby is priority.

But you hear through others she has had her baby. You are so excited and pop onto Facebook to congratulate her. She has chosen your name. Her precious bundle of joy is bearing the exact moniker you had carefully picked out for your baby. How would you feel?

It’s a tough one isn’t it. Because no one has the rights to a baby name just like no one has the rights to a blog post idea. The similarity is the feelings involved. Remember when I said feelings make everything off kilter. This is because it’s true. My issue was never the post ideas. My issue was how it looked to me. That someone I classed as a good friend was suddenly showing blog posts in a similar vein to mine. At the same time communication was thin on the ground. Of course there are many reasons for this on both sides.

Who To Believe or Not To Believe?

picture of shoes with the words passion led us here for a blog post about to believe or not to believe things written online

Yes I ended the friendship. Yes I cited the posts as a reason. But I never claimed to have the monopoly on ideas not once like I have been made out to have done. My issue was with the apparent disregard for our friendship to not keep me in the loop they would be posting similar posts to mine. To me it looked like I was being used as an ideas vault. I thought our friendship was worth more than that. Especially as they knew the posts were appearing as they had read them before they went live.

Would the reaction have been the same of different if was the other way round?. I was expected not to make a fuss but I can guarantee that would not be the case had I taken ideas and wrote them in my words. Just like the friend who appeared to steal the baby name this is all down to feelings and a friendship gone wrong.

Now the other party has every right to post whatever they want just like I have every right to stand up and defend myself. To me this is a case of lashing out at someone in a purely emotional way to and for whatever reason. This post too is written purely by emotion. Sadness. Sadness at the situation and sadness at having to write this post. Now I’m aware you will have all made you mind up about me long before you even knew who it was about but I am here. I am telling you my story and as I said earlier it is totally up to you to believe or not to believe me just like you will the other post. I do wonder though as you are reading this, are you judging me too?

If you made it this far then well done and I thank you for reading. If you are a regular reader of this blog you will know that personal posts are few and far between. I like to choose what to make public and I feel sad and ultimately disappointed that firstly things went the way they did. But mostly that I was so unkindly ripped apart by another blogger hence this post to defend myself. This is the 4th version of this post and in my opinion the most calmly written one. I also hope it goes some way to explain my recent absence not only from the blog but social media too. A lot of hurtful things have been not said not just about me but to me and in a very public way too. I hope the other blogger found peace with their post as I would like to find with mine. Hopefully this can put an end to this awful situation and we can both move on in an adult and dignified way.
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  1. Frank

    January 7, 2017 at 11:43 pm

    I have to agree with the comments above by Alex, you havent presented yourself in a very flattering way either in this post, or in your general online behavior about this whole situation. You maintain you have kept a dignified silence about it, but quite clearly you are using Twitter to vent about this situation. I see yesterday that you were tweeting, calling Alex out to speak with you privately about her comments. Why would you do that? Why not just reply to her here? You appear to like privatly messaging people about this situation dont you? That could be considered a good thing, to keep things private, but I dont believe that is your ultimate goal. There is a telling little sentance in this post ‘and I have the message to prove it’. Is that how you operate? Do you like to take screenshots of private conversations in order to use those messages against people at a later date? I think young lady that you have been playing a very sly, nasty game and in the long run it will come back and bite you.

  2. Alex

    January 4, 2017 at 10:53 am

    I am really saddened. I gave a vaild point and tried to show that maybe silence wasn’t the answer and ignoring her wasnt nice. I know i wouldn’t like it if a friend ignored me and then accused me. Silence and ignorance is horrible when you are on the other end of it. I told you my thought and you ignore and silence them too. I think this really shows the person that you truly are! Present information and facts one way and let other people believe you have the only opinion. I am sad for you and more sad for that other girl. You obviously wasnt a true friend to her and i would be surprised if you are to anyone if you throw tantrums and go quiet. I saw on Twitter yesterday that you called me a troll and then privately shared my comment. That is low. No consideration to any one elses feelings! You really are pathetic to still play silly teenager type games and to do it in private where people cant stand up for themselves. I would bet you did the same to that poor girls and privately messaged people about her. I feel sorry for your daughter to be raised by someone who plays games like that. No wonder she wanted to spend christmas in a haopy place with her dad!
    I have taken a picture of my comments and will use them in my own blog post. I think you ignorance and bullying needs to be shown!

  3. Lucy's Locket

    January 2, 2017 at 10:10 am

    I think I missed it too. Sending hugs.
    I think it goes further than belief. In my (very short) experience, it seems that so many people comment on blogs agreeing with whatever has been said. I often wonder whether they actually do agree or if they’re just being friendly because they want people to read their blog too. If that’s the case, they may not even consider the other side of the story, let alone question what they’ve heard.
    Anyway, sounds like ending the friendship was the right choice after all xx

  4. Alex

    January 2, 2017 at 9:51 am

    What doesn’t make sense here is your silence. You say that you didn’t talk to her and had an absence to start with around the time the posts were published (“At the same time communication was thin on the ground”)
    Then you say you didnt talk to them after because you didnt think it was right too. (keeping a dignified silence spoke volumes)
    You finally say that even after you told her your view point that you didnt. (“Then upset. Then angry again. But I kept quiet”)
    Why be silent, make a view point and then not allow room to resolve issue considering they were according to you a friend?
    Why did you go quiet. Personally if they were a friend i would talk to them, like an adult. What seems apparent is that you both had something and both were quiet and this was the problem . I wouldnt treat someone i see as a friend like that!!
    I have no idea what the other post is but i did see you become obstreperous and start throwing a tantrum on twitter before Christmas regarding this. So, because of the lack of communication you have discussed here and the going mad on twitter i think you need to do some serious growing up!
    Blogging is a big place and similar things are written. Blogs are generic, yours, for example, is nothing special. I have seen many like your blog. Design, style, writing and topic. You look like a poor replica to be honest. Friendships are made and only being an adult will keep them going. Acting as you have is low, petty and childish. And, in all honesty, if this is how you treat your friends then she is better off without you.
    I have read your blog for quite some time now, especially your frictional stories, and honestly this just reads like them.

  5. Linda Ford

    January 2, 2017 at 8:50 am

    I wondered why I hadn’t seen much from you on social media. Big hugs xx

  6. Ali Duke

    January 1, 2017 at 11:52 pm

    I’m sorry that you have had to go through this. Although I don’t know you too well, I think I know you well enough to know that you wouldn’t lie about personal stuff like this. I hope this all calms down for you, you can message me if you ever need to x

  7. Stephanie

    January 1, 2017 at 10:45 pm

    I’ve missed all this too, hope you’re ok and glad you’re back xx

  8. Kim Carberry

    January 1, 2017 at 10:14 pm

    I haven’t a clue what’s gone on….I think this is why I keep my self to myself in the blogging world. I hate situations like this.
    Sending hugs! I hope this brings closure on the whole thing 🙂 x

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