Are you a believer or a sceptic? Are you swayed by what you read on the internet or do you take it all with a pinch of salt? Surely if it’s been posted on the world wide web there has to be some vestibule of truth in it doesn’t there? A grain of reality in amongst all the embellishment. To believe or not to believe that is the question isn’t it these days. With a wealth of knowledge and information at our fingertips it can be quite hard to filter the fact from the fiction.
We rely on it for all kinds of things don’t we. I for one use Dr. Google frequently. Self diagnosing a mere headache with life threatening and terminal conditions. However it was dead on the mark when Olivia was ill back in July 2016. So sometimes the internet can be our friend. Other times not so much.
I’m sure most of us have searched online for product reviews, tips/tricks/shortcuts before now haven’t we? Personally Christmas 2016 saw hundreds of people find my blog to check out my Furby review. My diet shake reviews are pretty popular too especially at this time of year. But let me ask you something, do you believe every word you read?
Just because I SAY (I really did to be totally honest) had success with a particular shake replacement diet is it the truth? The same goes for posts written on blogs. There are so many open letter style posts, posts about experiences, situations they have been in. Anything and everything is open to interpretation to be relayed back to others isn’t it. But when does it stop being the truth and just become a chopped up mess with parts missing resembling something that could be true because you took away the context it was in originally?
This is the situation I found myself in recently. The reason for my sudden blogging break in December. A friendship that had spilled over from blogging into my personal life turned sour for me. A situation appeared to look one way and taking it at face value I calmly explained to the other party my feelings on this. This is where things get messy really isn’t it. When feelings are involved. Either way, good or bad. They cloud your judgement. make you see what you want to see. Things are open to interpretation and can be used as weapons.
From a bloggers point of view their weapons are their words. I found myself the target of such weapons recently when someone wrote a post about being accused of stealing another bloggers post ideas and does any one person hold the rights to blog post ideas. The accuser was me. I apparently accused another blogger of stealing my posts. Big claims hey! How very dare I claim to have the rights to blog post ideas? I’m sure you’ve read it and slated me. In fact I put my money on it. More blog posts have spawned from this and at first I was angry. Then upset. Then angry again. But I kept quiet. I let them have their 5 minutes of fame. Why?
Well to me keeping a dignified silence spoke volumes. I have nothing to be ashamed of. I have truth (and the original message) on my side. This is where the point of this post comes into play. Should you believe everything you read online? And if you do why? Do you or have you picked sides based on reading just one side of the story? I’ll put my hands up I do, I have. Especially if the other party keeps quiet and you have nothing else to go on.
Am I right? Only this matter hasn’t died down and with each passing day more mud is slung at my door. More hateful and nasty words are being bandied round to describe the audacious woman who dared claim to hold rights over any post she wrote. So to believe or not to believe that my friends is the question. Especially as people are so quick to judge in this day and age. Climb right up there on their high horse without and regard for any facts or a second thought as to the pain and damage their words would cause. How would you feel if you were me? Without the chance to speak up for yourself, defend your actions, but still judged so quickly. It’s a slippery slope
What Would You Do?
Let me put this to you. Imagine you had a friend. A good close friend and both of you were pregnant at the same time. She was due a few weeks before you and was struggling to pick a baby name. You have yours all picked out and freely share this private information with her. Not many people know as you would like it to be a surprise. Plus lots of people before you will have used this name, as will many people after you. Uniqueness in baby names is hard to come by these days. Then you lose contact for a little while, life takes over, getting ready for a baby is priority.
But you hear through others she has had her baby. You are so excited and pop onto Facebook to congratulate her. She has chosen your name. Her precious bundle of joy is bearing the exact moniker you had carefully picked out for your baby. How would you feel?
It’s a tough one isn’t it. Because no one has the rights to a baby name just like no one has the rights to a blog post idea. The similarity is the feelings involved. Remember when I said feelings make everything off kilter. This is because it’s true. My issue was never the post ideas. My issue was how it looked to me. That someone I classed as a good friend was suddenly showing blog posts in a similar vein to mine. At the same time communication was thin on the ground. Of course there are many reasons for this on both sides.
Who To Believe or Not To Believe?
Yes I ended the friendship. Yes I cited the posts as a reason. But I never claimed to have the monopoly on ideas not once like I have been made out to have done. My issue was with the apparent disregard for our friendship to not keep me in the loop they would be posting similar posts to mine. To me it looked like I was being used as an ideas vault. I thought our friendship was worth more than that. Especially as they knew the posts were appearing as they had read them before they went live.
Would the reaction have been the same of different if was the other way round?. I was expected not to make a fuss but I can guarantee that would not be the case had I taken ideas and wrote them in my words. Just like the friend who appeared to steal the baby name this is all down to feelings and a friendship gone wrong.
Now the other party has every right to post whatever they want just like I have every right to stand up and defend myself. To me this is a case of lashing out at someone in a purely emotional way to and for whatever reason. This post too is written purely by emotion. Sadness. Sadness at the situation and sadness at having to write this post. Now I’m aware you will have all made you mind up about me long before you even knew who it was about but I am here. I am telling you my story and as I said earlier it is totally up to you to believe or not to believe me just like you will the other post. I do wonder though as you are reading this, are you judging me too?
If you made it this far then well done and I thank you for reading. If you are a regular reader of this blog you will know that personal posts are few and far between. I like to choose what to make public and I feel sad and ultimately disappointed that firstly things went the way they did. But mostly that I was so unkindly ripped apart by another blogger hence this post to defend myself. This is the 4th version of this post and in my opinion the most calmly written one. I also hope it goes some way to explain my recent absence not only from the blog but social media too. A lot of hurtful things have been not said not just about me but to me and in a very public way too. I hope the other blogger found peace with their post as I would like to find with mine. Hopefully this can put an end to this awful situation and we can both move on in an adult and dignified way.