I recently wrote a post about being a single mum. I read so many things that are negative, degrading and so ridiculously stereotypical I decided that I need to write something about my experiences. Because not everything is bad or detrimental when you are a single parent. I don’t write a lot about the ups and downs of single parent life, because, for me, it is so ingrained in who I am and what I do I tend to forget as I get on with my mundane day to day life.
Peoples attitudes are still somewhat backwards on this topic. As I have been a single mum for over 9 years now, I know the good, the bad and the ugly truths about what being a single parent means. I have scrapped the bottom and had some really hard times and I have had some amazing experiences and learnt a lot about myself and what I can do and what I am capable of, usually in how much coffee I can consume just to get me through the school run!
But stories from me 9 years on don’t help mums and dads in this position right now as they take their first tentative steps as a single parent.
The ones dreading the implications and impact of their decisions. The ones struggling with being the sole provider and caregiver to their children in what can seem like the loneliest place on earth at times. The ones who are dreading getting home from a long day at work because they know that their day isn’t over and there are mouths to feed and bedtimes to do, chores that need doing before your head hits the pillow and groundhog day starts all over again in a few short hours.
The Best Things About Being A Single Parent.
I remember the first days well. How hard it was, how I struggled. But I don’t feel them anymore. I live them occasionally but mostly this is my life and it is what it is. But that doesn’t mean being a single parent is all bad.
These days I love to be able to come home, choose my own meals (or take away) with no one else to worry about. To be able to relax and lock the world away in my own little bubble at home. Do things on my terms and in my time as it suits myself and Olivia. I love that we can literally just get up and go. Being the two of us makes it so easy to just jump in the car and make our own adventures. Plus when someone compliments Olivia, I can say yep that’s me. 100% attendance at school, yep all me and my constant nagging and dragging her out of bed 5 mins before we leave! (I do have to say her dad has a lot of involvement and is very supportive and involved all the time)
In so many respects, I think my life is easier as a single parent and at times, definitely a lot happier. But don’t just take my word for it. I have rounded up some of the best parent bloggers who are or have been single parents to find out what they love most about being a single parent!
Why I Love Being A Single Parent
I’m much happier as a single mum. I can cook what I like for my children and myself, watch what I enjoy and I can choose what I would like to do with my children in our free time without any negotiation, compromise or guilty feelings. We also have a dog, which we couldn’t have before. Dillydrops
I’m no longer a single parent but I do miss being able to put myself first more than I do now. Not because I can’t but because naturally, I have to consider my partner’s feelings too.
Just Average Jen
For the most part, I enjoy being a single parent, our social life is awesome, much better than it would have been otherwise (shudders) and we have so much more freedom. That and the fact my word is the only word… end of! Sim’s Life
I was a single parent for the first 5 years of my eldest daughters life. I now have 2 kids and I’m engaged. One thing that sticks out for me that was a lot simpler when I was a single parent was deciding on parenting styles and choices. I find me and my fiancé clash a bit sometimes which makes for some added challenges to parenting finding middle ground whereas when I was single it was ultimately up to me what path I took. Gee Gardner
I think the most positive thing about being a single parent is when it comes about because you have managed to leave a toxic relationship. Having any negativity removed allows you and your children to breathe and enjoy the little things every day. I personally enjoy doing my own thing, not worrying about what someone will say when I have slacked a bit on the housework etc. Doing parenting your own way and knowing that you are a strong independent woman who can do, and have it all. From Pennies to Pounds
I loved being a single parent. Those few years it was just my son and I were some of my absolute best. I loved that it was just the two of us against the world, and now at 14, my eldest and I share an amazing bond because of it. Five Little Doves
I found the best things about being a single parent were: getting to make decisions alone, having guilt-free time alone when my daughter visited her other parent, being more in control of what my daughter was eating at home and how she was spending her time. I also loved the bond we had. When it’s just you and your kids you become like a little team! Life Unexpected
I spent 5 years as a single mother and 5 years with a partner. Being a single mum was wonderful in terms of family holidays. I got to choose where we went and the prices were so much cheaper, for example when we went to Disneyland Paris and Butlins, the accommodation and travel were so much cheaper. I loved the freedom of choosing what we had for dinner and not having to plan our life around anyone else. The Inspiration Edit
I was a single mum for 4 years but I was brought up by a single Mum and swear she’s the only reason I know how to change a plug, use a drill, paint and fix things! hello cuppies
Are you a single parent? What is your most favourite thing about being a single parent?