I don’t do New Year’s Resolutions. I haven’t done really for a while now. The thing is, I lack serious will power so ultimately I end up falling flat on my face – sometimes quite literally too. 

For 2019, I decided it would be the year of doing not putting off. I would say it had a 50/50 success rate. I definitely got better at what I needed to be doing and being more proactive.

This year, I feel like I am going to follow the same path. Worry less about the small stuff and focus on what I need to do to build on 2019.

The thing is, I always feel like we should be shamed into changing ourselves just for a new year. Sure, a new year is a clean slate to make changes, I get that. However, the message I tend to get is that you are simply not good enough as you are and you need to change!

New Year, New Weight?

After being bombarded the whole of December with adverts and images of the most luxurious and decadent food you can imagine (I’m looking at you M&S.) Come January even the merest mention of eating anything except an apple is considered a sin. But, really in the grand scheme of things, is being fat a bad thing?

The slimming groups taking pride in putting up their new shiny posters anywhere where they can prey on the vulnerable and those already feeling bad about themselves.

And sure, whilst many people will want to lose weight, I do too most days if I am honest – I doubt I will ever stop trying, the whole mindset swings from being able to enjoy all the food you want just because it is Christmas to now having to cut down and watch what you eat is quite frankly a little bit scary.

I’m sure most women will agree that from a young age the pressure to stay slim and lose weight if you arent can be overbearing and always constant.

Is Being Fat A Bad Thing?

I have been overweight since I had Olivia. She is 14 this year and honestly, I can’t tell you how many diets I have tried since the age of 16. I’m honestly not sure there has ever been a time where I can honestly say that my weight hasn’t in some way been ever-present in my mind or a topic for discussion. I have covered a fair few different diets on the blog over the past few years too all with varying degrees of success.

But as I was driving back from dropping Olivia and my niece off at school I was sat idling in traffic and an advert came on the radio and I thought no. Enough is enough. I am nearly 40, I have Fibromyalgia and I am sick to death of trying to diet or lose weight because society thinks I should – and my GP but that’s a whole different blog post.

So I sat there thinking – the traffic was crazy slow, is being overweight really that bad? Have I failed as an adult and human being just simply for being overweight? When I die is my headstone going to say;

“Here lies Tracey, Mum, Daughter, Auntie, Sister, Cousin, Friend (I hope) and Overweight”?

I think not. And not just because I have no desire to be put in a wooden box in the ground once I leave this body – I have seen Buffy I know the score!

Being Fat Isn’t Being Less

But back on a serious note, is it a complete failure to simply weight a few pounds more? Is being fat a bad thing when you take everything into consideration? Am I honestly less of a valuable member of society just for weighing more than society and the media say we should? After all, are we not all different? Are we not all allowed to be in control of our bodies and make informed choices no matter what that might be?

Because I am feeling right now that no, I am not any less because I am overweight. Nor am I any more than anyone else except where the numbers on the scales are concerned. Being slim doesn’t automatically mean being unhealthy. Not for everyone. and not everyone who is overweight is at that stage due to overeating (I am btw if anyone is in any doubt – I am fat because I eat too much of the wrong foods I am under no illusions)

But being fat, or slim, or curvy, athletic, chubby, skinny isn’t really anyone else’s business. I once worked with a woman who weighed 7.5stone. She was around 5″ 8. Her doctor had told her she needed to put weight on and she struggled. I would see her in canteen shovelling everything in herm youth in an effort to put weight on. Fruit, veg, chocolate, fried foods, you name it she ate it. 

There I was, sitting there, trying to eat healthy, conscious that people were watching what I put in my mouth. Simply because I weighed more than she did. This was something she recognised and pointed out on more than one occasion. Her cholesterol was high, she was at risk of diabetes and was really unhealthy.

Fast forward a few years, I now weigh twice as much, if not more than that lady did and do you know what? Recently, all my tests came back perfectly healthy. My GP was stunned, to say the least.

 I am nowhere near being at risk of being diabetic. My cholesterol is lower than it needs to be. All in all, my body is medically perfectly healthy. Aside from the FM.

You see I work out, I eat the right foods along with the wrong foods. I enjoy vegetables and salad and whilst I like certain fruits, I don’t eat a lot of fruit. But I go to Zumba, I walk on a Sunday (and hopefully Thursday evenings when the nights get lighter) and according to my Fitbit, I burn off around 3k calories a day. I probably eat this many a day too but who is counting. 

So back on track, is being overweight the worst thing I can be? Does it overrule that fact that I am a good mum? (on occasion unless you ask Olivia then it’s a resounding no. Which means I definitely am doing something right). That I try to be nice as much as possible and I work hard to support myself and Olivia. Is all that null and void now simply because I am carrying extra weight on my body. I am automatically a failure, right? Because I haven’t managed to stay in shape and slim whilst juggling all adult life and motherhood throws at me?

Is that what life really boils down to?  Is being fat a bad thing? There has to be more to people than what they look like and a number on a scale. I refuse to believe that. 

What I do believe in is letting people be who they need to be.