Life is too short to live by other peoples expectations. Sadly, people’s expectations are all around us. There is no escaping the onslaught that the weight of other peoples opinions can bring, from logging onto the morning breakfast show to opening social media accounts to simply reading your emails in your inbox. There seems to be a lack of body positivity for anyone not displaying modelesque looks and photoshopped slim bodies.

And for women, one of the main expectations is how we are supposed to look. There is an idea that women are supposed to look and act a certain way, and deviance from this idealised image is wrong. And, in some cases, worth shaming for. The crime? Putting on weight and not bowing down to sometimes near impossible beauty standards that in many cases are derived from an outdated patriarchal view from a time when men thought women only purpose was to serve them.

And let’s be honest, some men still think this is the case. But the fact remains that women are expected to conform to looking and acting in a way that pleases men.

Why We All Need to Focus on Body Positivity

For years, too many women have been forced to consume image after image, article after article on what you should look like, how to make yourself look better, and lose weight quickly regardless of the physical and mental health implications and sadly, this is still a narrative that is pushed time and time again and rightly or wrongly (I personally think it is wrong) in dedicated women’s media outlets.

I am fully on board with the body positivity trend. But it has taken me a long time to finally decide to give up dieting and focus on my health rather than my weight. Because my weight doesn’t automatically equate to bad health. Ask my GP. Aside from Fibromyalgia, I am perfectly healthy despite tipping the scales into the morbidly obese category.

Is this something I should be proud of? Not really, I know this. I also know why I am at the weight I am and what I need to change. But I also know that diets do not work.

Step Away From The Syns

I have long been a critic of Slimming World and Weight Watchers. However, I have more love for the new WW regime than I do for one that actively labels food as syns and encourages you to see these foods as morally bad and avoided at all costs. “But you get so many syns per day”, I hear you shout. Yes, I am aware of this, but I am also strongly against labelling food as bad with negative connotations.

For me, this fosters an even stronger unhealthy relationship with food. You are simply swapping one bad habit with another, and anyone who has ever been to one of these group meetings will attest to the main focus of your life is still on food. Food consumes every single waking minute of your life. Be it working out how to avoid eating those ‘naughty’ foods, or wanting to eat as much fatty, sugary food as you can.

Nothing about these groups addresses the real issue.

That issue is, people who are overweight have developed habits that are causing them to be overweight. These habits are reinforced and become something you need to break. You need to change your way of thinking and with all the best will power in the world, breaking habits is a damn sight harder than making them. Especially bad ones.

Now, I am aware I have probably contradicted myself in this post. You see, I fully support body positivity. Everyone should be free to love their body and not be shamed by others who use the guise of being concerned about their health to attack someone who is deemed to be overweight in their eyes. Whether you are a size 10 or 30, you should be free to love yourself and live how you want to without other people forcing their opinions and views on you or making you believe you are anything less than worthy simply because your body shape doesn’t meet their idea of healthy because healthy comes in all different shapes and sizes.

Your Body Positivity Is Your Is Noone Else’s Business

And I also believe that should you decide that you want to lose weight or change how you look, then that is perfect A-OK. Except for making those decisions based on what others think about, you will harm not only your mind but also your body. You need to make the changes for yourself and identify what you want to change, why you want to change it and how you will go about making those changes.

Contrary to popular belief, making those changes does not mean you need to throw out all the bad foods in your house or sell your soul to the fat club who will directly analyse every food choice you have ever made and will make. It means looking at why you eat the way you do. What you eat and making small sustainable changes.

I am waffling now I know this, but ultimately, my thoughts are exactly that. My thoughts. It is no skin off my nose if you want to follow the diet train. That is your choice, just like it is my choice to see these as bad for our physical and mental health. It is also your choice to love the body you have and celebrate by showing it off proudly and living your life. And I suppose that is the main point of this long-winded and rambling post.

Everyone should be free to live their life in their own bodies without other peoples input.