Irrelevant?

What does that mean to you? Have you ever tried to make anyone feel like they are irrelevant? How about feeling irrelevant yourself? To quote the dictionary means not connected with or relevant to something. Like a comment, you leave online or say in passing before forgetting about it. To YOU, it may seem small and irrelevant. But is that actually the case? Especially when considering the impact of social media and what we write online.

To give you some context, and explain my overuse of the word in this post because I feel it needs to be said, I spend a lot of time on Facebook. A LOT. You see aside from running the One Frazzled Mum Facebook page, I also have a few other pages I look after and I am in charge of sourcing material for. It leads to a lot of time scrolling random places and reading random articles.

Most of the time I find some funny and engaging content.

Sometimes I spend time getting wound up over certain people in the public eye. The rest of the time? I find myself horrified, and yes, I do mean horrified at the comments people seem to think it is OK to leave in such a public place. Yes, we all have a right ot our opinion but there are ways and means of communicating this. Not everyone seems to be aware of the impact of social media and the damage that can be done.

Sure we all have our own opinions and thoughts and we all see things differently. I rarely get involved despite wanting to sometimes. Because sometimes, it simply isn’t worth it and the other times, I wholeheartedly admit, I do not want to become the focus and aim of someone else’s vitriol online because the simply don’t know how to behave online. Nor do they consider the impact of social media and how they use on others. And if they do, then simply they just don’t care. That in itself is a completely different post altogether.

And yes, it is vitriol.

But back on track and during one of my scrolling sessions I saw a throwaway post shared on a page from a pop culture masquerading as a craft site. It was titled ‘Celebrities who don’t realise they’re not famous anymore’. Harsh right? I am pretty sure that these ‘celebrities’ are unaware of their level of fame. Or even care. It seemed to pick people who, after experiencing high levels of fame have seemingly gotten on with their lives out of the public eye for the most part.

Photo by Marc Schaefer on Unsplash

But then, as usual, and despite knowing better, I clicked on the comment section. Anyone and everyone knows what happens in the comment sections of Facebook. It is a lawless place where people go to rant about anything and everything, call people names and generally be the nasties, most vile person they can be. (disclaimer: not all Facebook user are like this I know and a lot of people are trying to call them out which is what all of us, myself included needs to do more of).

“xxxx xxxx (male) most definitely isn’t considered a non-celebrity but xxxx xxxx (female) is so irrelevant I don’t even know what he is doing with her.” Comment left by a female commenter (or professional troll).

And since I read it, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about the consequences words have on other people and what makes people think it is OK to talk like that online or even at all. I know it was pretty tame when it comes to nasty comments but herein lies the issue. I am pretty sure the person who wrote that had no regard for the impact of social media and comments left on it when it comes to how their words make people feel.

When you think something that crosses the line is OK and fair game, where do you stop? Especially when it comes to leaving your thoughts and opinions without being downright mean and nasty?

Do You Know Who Reads Your Comments and the Impact of Social Media and in Particular the Way You Use Social Media?

When you leave a comment in a public place online you have no control over who will see and more importantly how someone else will react to it. If you think, “it’s OK because I am not saying it to someone’s face” you are part of the problem. If you believe it is your right to publicly condemn someone for something you do not believe in, you too are the problem.

With millions of people using social media at any one time, there is literally no one policing your words or comments and who comes into contact with them. I am grateful that I grew up in a world before social media. That, as I am writing this post, I am nearing my 40s and I am able to take things as they are and know not to read too much into it.

Sure, I get enraged about things people say and do online. But I know, to some extent, it isn’t real.

Photo by Marten Bjork on Unsplash

Or rather, the world online isn’t 100% a reflection on people you meet online however much it tends to bring out the worst of people. You never know who will see your comment about someone else being so irrelevant and think those words ARE FOR THEM.

Once you have hit publish, that comment is in there in the public domain for all to see. Instantly. The impact of social media is instant. It may reach a child currently being bullied who has heard those words and similar at least 10 times that day alone. Maybe your comment reached someone struggling with mental health issues. Maybe the word irrelevant was simply all that was needed to confirm their worst fears. What if your comment was all that was needed to for someone to take the plunge and do something drastic and irreversible because those nasty words were anything but irrelevant to them.

What If…….

But what if we all thought a little bit more about what we say online and in real life. What if, we all decided to delete the nasty comment and instead of fuelling the fire and being part of the problem, we didn’t. There are a lot of what if’s in life. But turning it on its head and applying it to your thoughts process before spewing out hate and nastiness online and in-person can take away the what if struggle going on in someone else’s brain.

I Can’t Stop It!

I probably cannot stop someone leaving abuse and hatred online. Only they can do that themselves. I can’t stop people taking complete strangers comments to heart. No matter how much I insist their words bear no meaning or relevance themselves. Except to show that persons true colours. But I can stand against it. We can stand against it. We can denounce it and not fight fire with fire. Arguing online with someone whose only purpose for being there is to spout hate is pointless. And I honestly agree, you will never win. There will never be winners. And I can guarantee you, chances are the words they are projecting onto others, are words and thoughts they feel themselves, about themselves. And if I am wrong, then they still are not even worth your time or even my time spent writing this post!

So think about your words, your action and the impact of social media as a whole before you press publish.