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Am I Destined to be Average?

I’ve never really been an over achiever. In primary school, I was classed as bright. As an avid reader, I think most of this came from the pages of the books I devoured night, after night. My hangout of choice being the local library. Determined not to be destined to be average but to make my light shine brighter than ever before.

As I reached secondary school I was a bright light amongst a whole load of brighter lights and shining stars. My bright light dulled somewhat to a low glow on the dimmer switch. Mood lighting for when the full light was just too much. It was comfortable. Never being relied on to light the way for others. Creating a soft glow to enhance their shine. I left school with B’s and C’s acceptable to low light such as myself.

Am I Just Destined To Be Average?

Years have passed and on occasion, I have turned that dimmer switch up a notch but mostly I have relished living in the soft glow my light emits. Never pushing it. Refraining from turning the switch up to full beam. Until now.

The low light has become uncomfortable now. It’s hurting my eyes and I can’t shift the focus. I’m unable to see too far ahead or focus on what lies in front of me. I need to clearer vision, clearer focus to push through and find a path, because I’m pretty sure, somewhere along the way my light wasn’t bright enough to show me the right path. It’s dullness creating situations and scenarios that scared me from their place in the shadows. No full beam to cast the shadows away and show me the path wasn’t as bad as it looked. That if I had chosen that way, I could have made it.

So I took the path of least resistance, the one that appeared to be safe and trouble free. There I stayed, ambling along at a leisurely pace and everything looking rosy as the edge of the light hides and shielded me from any harsh realities from the world outside and placed me in a cocoon of my own making.

But like any butterfly, the time comes to spread your wings and leave the safety of the cocoon. It becomes time to flip the switch and find the brightness that my light was once capable of. To be able to see and choose a new path. One paved with better options than I will now be able to see. One that heralds new beginnings shining out from the light seeping through it.

With twists and turns and clearer directions that I choose and not happen upon because I’m too afraid to look into the distance. No longer am I happy with the precedent I once set for myself. No longer an I accepting that I can only do what my low light lets me see. There will be no more shadows, no stone left unturned and I plan on exploring every nook and cranny uncovered by my light.

I’m not scared anymore or afraid to explore. No more of not pushing myself and missing opportunities. Not only will I see them, but I will grab them with both hands. Despite not yet reaching its full beam I can already see clearer, I’m more focused and the foundations are being built as the light continues to fill the void.

And this time, I will not be turning it down!

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99 Comments

  1. Jo Sandelson

    February 24, 2017 at 12:27 pm

    May you shine bright all your life! jo #KCACOLS

  2. Jenny (Accidental Hipster Mum)

    February 18, 2017 at 6:14 pm

    I feel like this, the path of least resistance is a familiar one but now I find myself wanting more. The way you write makes me believe you’re anything but average.

    #KCACOLS

  3. Jenn @ Mad Mommy

    February 18, 2017 at 3:40 pm

    sometimes taking that first step is the hardest part. Good luck! #KCACOLS

  4. Silly Mummy

    February 18, 2017 at 12:56 am

    Good for you. I think it’s about doing what’s right for you. I don’t think there is anything wrong with deciding that what people see as ‘classical’ overachieving/ambition just isn’t what’s important to you in life, but if it is important to you then you shouldn’t let under confidence hold you back. #KCACOLS

  5. Wendy

    February 17, 2017 at 1:44 pm

    Amazing post! I am so guilty of taking the safe option and not pushing myself. Will try and follow on your footsteps and stop playing it safe from now on xx #kcacols

  6. Mrs Mummy Harris

    February 17, 2017 at 12:04 pm

    This is such a relateable post! I too appeared to excel in primary school and pride myself on teaching myself to read howver as college and uni approached I found myself becoming average.
    The Blog seems to have brightened my spark and we all should push that little harder and even if we remain average at least we tried! #KCACOLS

  7. Poppy Reflects

    February 17, 2017 at 11:34 am

    It’s certainly easier to not try and not fail but motivating to keep pushing. I don’t believe anybody is average and you certainly are not! 🙂 x #KCACOLS

  8. Mummy and the Mexicans

    February 17, 2017 at 4:38 am

    This definitely resonates with me, the feeling that I’ve been going through life with my light dimmed, held back by my own fears and doubts instead of pushing myself to be more and do better. I’m trying to do something about it, but it’s not easy. Well done for changing your mindset and deciding to shine as brightly as you can – I know you can do it! I hope I can too. #KCACOLS

  9. Dani

    February 16, 2017 at 11:45 pm

    Absolutely LOVE this post and can too relate to what you have eloquently said. Thank you for inspiring me to keep pushing myself further. Glass ceilings are made to be smashed through x #KCACOLS

  10. Kate Eccles

    February 16, 2017 at 9:29 pm

    I love this post and your writing Tracey. Glow girl glow! #KCACOLS

  11. Maria

    February 16, 2017 at 7:14 pm

    I love this post Tracey. I feel we are quite similar in a lot of ways! I also have gone through life being pretty average but I do believe that it’s not until we push ourselves and go outside of our comfort zone do we learn that we are capable of doing great things. Whatever you decide to do, you know you will have your friends behind you all the way and you will make your chosen path a success!! xx #KCACOLS

  12. Hattie - Coffee & Bubbles

    February 15, 2017 at 9:16 pm

    I can relate to this. I was never top of the class, or the best sports player, or the most popular. Good for you and good luck to you, in whatever you end up doing! I really enjoyed reading this, thank you. #KCACOLS

  13. Laura @ Dot Makes 4

    February 14, 2017 at 5:42 pm

    What a well written post. This really resonates with me and I have to say, you’ve motivated me to also push myself a bit more 🙂
    #kcacols

  14. Susan (youaremysunshine.me)

    February 14, 2017 at 1:54 pm

    I feel exactly the same. I was a brightish light that is now much dimmer. Sometimes I’m happy with it, sometimes not so much. We must continue to push ourselves x #KCACOLS

  15. Amy

    February 14, 2017 at 1:23 pm

    I feel the same way, happy bobbling along with “average”, not wanting to draw attention to myself. Good for you for wanting to shine brighter! #KCACOLS

  16. Tim

    February 14, 2017 at 11:38 am

    There’s nothing wrong with being average and I wouldn’t say it’s something to beat yourself up about. I think the key is to at least stick your neck out and try rather than being scared of failure. I don’t mind being average at stuff – God knows I’m average or worse at plenty of things! – but if I feel I’ve given my best, that’s okay. As ice hockey legend Wayne Gretsky said, “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” #KCACOLS

  17. Becky | Bringing up the Berneys

    February 14, 2017 at 11:31 am

    Good for you! I feel very much the same with feeling average, I’ve let myself amble along in the dim light also. Maybe it’s time put full beams on too! Really inspiring post, thank you for sharing! I’m sure you’ll dazzle us all! #KCACOLS
    Becky x

  18. Familyanon

    February 14, 2017 at 7:29 am

    Argh this is how o feel a lot of the time. I feel like I’m stuck and I’m pushing against a door I can’t get through

  19. Sara

    February 13, 2017 at 3:07 pm

    You are far from average, and I hope that the way you write is absolutely beautiful Tracey! I’m excited to read more and more from you! Go you! #KCACOLS

  20. Zoe

    February 12, 2017 at 11:31 pm

    This is a lovely post. Its such a shame that it really does resonate with so many people. But Go You! and all of us lets be inspired 🙂 #KCACOLS

  21. Becci Davis - The UnNatural Mother

    February 12, 2017 at 5:46 pm

    let that light shine !! Shine bright and blow a fuse. There is nothing to worry about by pushing yourself a bit harder. We all get a bit stuck in a rut by the odd kick up the bum from our inner Mr Motivator never harms#postsfromtheheart

  22. Adventures of Mummy and Me

    February 12, 2017 at 4:55 pm

    What a great post! It’s tough to come out of your comfort zone, so go you for doing so! Keep shining your light! #KCACOLS

  23. Sinead (shinnersandthebrood.com)

    February 12, 2017 at 1:58 pm

    You write beautifully. Always takes courage to push yourself. #KCACOLS

  24. Helen Moulden

    February 12, 2017 at 12:30 pm

    Go you. I don’t think anyone is average. Everyone can push themselves :).

  25. Bev

    February 12, 2017 at 9:50 am

    Turn that light up a bit! You could brighten so many more!

  26. Rebekah Jones

    February 11, 2017 at 11:13 pm

    Love how this is written Tracey … you are definitely not average !! I do believe that there is no such thing as average anyway … everyone has something unique and are brilliant for their own things… be it education, healing power, ability to understand or counsel … or be it just that they are fab at making a cuppa …Everyone is fantastic in their own way … you are fabulous at writing descriptively…. one of many talents I am sure !!! !

  27. ohmummymia

    February 11, 2017 at 9:05 pm

    Good for you that you are not scared anymore:) sometimes it’s really hard to change something but it’s worth to try
    #KCACOLS

  28. Kerry

    February 11, 2017 at 8:10 am

    Good for you! It can be scary going out of your comfort zone, but also very rewarding!

    1. Kerry

      February 11, 2017 at 8:11 am

      Ps via #KCACOLS

  29. Cassie

    February 10, 2017 at 9:33 pm

    Go you! I wholeheartedly support stepping out of our comfort zones now and again. You only get one life after all. That said, their is nowt wrong with being average. We are continually pushing ourselves too hard to try and strive for perfection be to be the best.

    All we really need is to be the best version of ourselves #kcacols

  30. Ky

    February 10, 2017 at 2:48 pm

    Love this post! I can also relate, this year is one where I am also pushing myself and getting out there and doing things. x #kcacols

  31. mainy

    February 10, 2017 at 9:24 am

    Good for you Tracey , turn up the lights till it’s dazzling!!
    Mainy
    #KCACOLS

  32. Savannah

    February 10, 2017 at 4:36 am

    Wonderful – good for you!!! Pushing yourself to all that you can be, and looking into the future is so so wonderful, and so scary all at the same time. This year, I have vowed to push myself like never before. To take risks, and defy boundaries. Hoping for immense growth for us all – thanks so much for the motivation! <3 #KCACOLS

  33. Kayla Arnold

    February 10, 2017 at 12:54 am

    Love this post! I can totally relate. Im pretty scared of pushing myself. #KCACOLS

  34. Stephanie Robinson

    February 9, 2017 at 10:43 pm

    Love this – and totally relate. Go you, you’ll be fab – I know it. And I’ll be watching and cheering you on – as will, I’m sure, lots of others. Thanks for sharing with #pocolo x

  35. Mummyitsok

    February 9, 2017 at 7:28 pm

    Such a powerful and positive post! It’s so easy to just stick in your confort zone but we can all achieve a little bit if we believe in ourselves! #KCACOLS

  36. Cheryl @ Tea or Wine

    February 9, 2017 at 11:53 am

    Also visiting from #KCACOLS! x

  37. Cheryl @ Tea or Wine

    February 9, 2017 at 11:33 am

    I think most people don’t like to push themselves too far out of their comfort zone. Well done you for cranking up the switch and going for it! #BigPinklink x

  38. Tammymum

    February 9, 2017 at 8:42 am

    What a great attitude to have and a very motivational post for everyone. I am sure lots of us can relate at some point in or lives 🙂 #KCACOLS

  39. Twicemicrowaved tea

    February 9, 2017 at 8:42 am

    Oh I can totally relate to this. I’ve missed out on so many opportunities (mainly work related) because I’ve been afraid to push myself and step out of my comfort zone. At the time I’ve always thought it for the best – why have unnecessary stress? – but as I’ve got older, I really regret not having had the confidence to push myself that little bit further. Great post! #kcacols

  40. Beth

    February 8, 2017 at 10:35 pm

    This really resonates with me. I was also a high achiever until secondary school when I discovered boys and my social life took over, leaving my education in that dim light and my ambition with it! Starting my blog has made me feel like my light has switched on again! Great post, keep that light shining! #PostsFromTheHeart

  41. Mrs Lighty

    February 8, 2017 at 10:03 pm

    I often feel a bit like this, I must admit, and it’s easy to doubt ourselves. But sometimes, we do things that push us and scare us but which make us proud. Someone once told me to take every opportunity and I think they are right. Hoping you can find your full beam again soon 🙂 #PostsFromTheHeart

  42. Crummy Mummy

    February 7, 2017 at 7:59 pm

    I know what you mean about feeling average at school – at mine there was so much pressure to compete! #KCACOLS

  43. This Mum's Life

    February 7, 2017 at 1:16 pm

    I can really relate to this! I was very similar to you-bright in primary school, then had to really push myself to be noticed in secondary school, because of all the much brighter ‘lights’ (I love the light analogy used throughout the post!) But in adulthood, I also feel extremely average. I always thought I’d be, and wanted to be great at something, but it just hasn’t happened! And I don’t want to become old, and feel like I never reached my full potential. Good for you for feeling that you can do better, and you want more-good luck getting out there and being amazing!!
    #bigpinklink

  44. Rachel Craig

    February 7, 2017 at 1:16 am

    Average, what makes you average? Seems like you are yearning for more and / or different. Hope you consider what options there are for you, and find what is best for you and your family in the long term. As that is the thing, we need security as adults :- especially when we have family commitments etc. Opportunities where are they? Maybe that is something you may need to consider. Best Wishes!

  45. Jo

    February 6, 2017 at 10:52 pm

    Loved the light analogy and how you described yourself really chimed with me. Jo #KCACOLS

  46. The Mum Reviews

    February 6, 2017 at 9:37 pm

    That’s brilliant that you are grabbing new opportunities. I feel that I’ve started doing this too. But I also think that no one is inherently average! We all have something to offer, it’s just whether we allow our light to shine or hide it under a bushel. #kcacols

  47. Nicola

    February 6, 2017 at 9:19 pm

    This is a lovely post and it could have been written about me! I too was a bright light at about the age of 7 but I went to a private school for high achievers and struggled and struggled to keep up. It’s only now at the age of 42 that I’m actually doing something I think I’m quite good at and want to do! Good for you for allowing your light to shine brighter and good luck reaching your full beam!

  48. The Hippy Christian Mum

    February 6, 2017 at 8:53 pm

    Lovely comparison to light, and it reminded me of that old song ‘this little light of mine’. I could relate to a lot of this post. #Postsfromtheheart

  49. Amie

    February 6, 2017 at 8:39 pm

    Good on you! I feel the same, have always been average and a bit lazy too, always being happy to be slightly chubby, work less harder than I could have and now like you I’m putting my foot down and changing! Great post 🙂 #KCACOLS

  50. RACHEL BUSTIN

    February 6, 2017 at 3:52 pm

    I have always fewlt average as well. I was lways in the middle classes at school. Never top or bottom. I also feel like this with my blog as well although I try my hardest to try and be the best! A lovely written post xx

    #KCACOLS

  51. Chilli Regina

    February 6, 2017 at 1:28 pm

    Your post is very inspiring, making all of us, who read it, ask, if this is all there is or can we push harder? Get out of the comfort zone and light up…I am happy for you, keep on going and not be afraid anymore! We are our own creators, we must embrace life and not fear it. It will lead us to where we are suppose to be;)) #KCACOLS

  52. Anne

    February 6, 2017 at 11:47 am

    I’m so glad you’ve found your light. Your story reminds me of mind, I always felt uncomfortable being anything but average. It’s good to shine sometimes though. enjoy! #BigPinkLink

  53. Someone's Mum (Danielle)

    February 6, 2017 at 10:15 am

    I takes courage to have confidence in your gifts and go for your dreams. I am really happy that you have decided to let your light shine 🙂 #postsfromtheheart

  54. MMT

    February 6, 2017 at 9:40 am

    Ditch that self doubt and go for it…xxx
    #bigpinklink

  55. justsayingmum

    February 6, 2017 at 9:27 am

    Just a wonderful post. I love the way you write. It is so important to live by your light and not others. There will always be others that will try to overshadow but you have your own light – love, love, love!! #postsfromtheheart

  56. The Tale of Mummyhood

    February 6, 2017 at 9:16 am

    This is such a motivational read. Here’s to 2017 and what it has to bring!
    #KCACOLS

  57. Kirsty - Winnettes

    February 6, 2017 at 8:45 am

    Go and grab the bull by the horns if that is what you want to do. As long as you are happy. But never forget it is totally ok to be average. In someones eyes you will be extraordinary.
    #KCACOLS

  58. Nadine

    February 6, 2017 at 6:17 am

    I LOVED this post! I think sometimes its those “average” people who have the brightest lights! They just don’t seem to shine as bright in certain situations because we may be more polite and wait to talk, or not be as strongly opinionated. I’m so glad that your light is shining brightly! I find the older I get the more comfortable I get letting people see me as I am. Keep on shining 🙂 #KCACOLS

  59. Becky Clark

    February 6, 2017 at 12:37 am

    I really enjoyed reading this post! It’s written beautifully. I’m guilty of allowing myself to feel average, to doubt myself and question if I’m good enough. Maybe I need to turn up my dimmer switch! #KCACOLS

  60. Sarah

    February 5, 2017 at 10:36 pm

    I can totally relate to this! I was classed as top of the class until secondary school, then I went to a grammar school where there were some complete geniuses and I was just average. I got an alright degree and an ok job and it was fine. But the nearer I get to 40 the more I want to do something that isn’t just average. Not quite sure what yet though!

    1. Sarah

      February 5, 2017 at 10:37 pm

      Sorry forgot to add #KCACOLS to the above comment!

  61. Cathryn - Little Paper Swans

    February 5, 2017 at 9:17 pm

    I feel this often. I never know if I’m doing enough for what I want to do. Work/life balance is something I’m struggling with right now.

    #KCACOLS

  62. Alana - Burnished Chaos

    February 5, 2017 at 8:33 pm

    Love love love this. It’s like you were describing me, so this really resonated and has given me extra motivation, thank you x
    #KCACOLS

  63. Sarah - Arthurwears

    February 5, 2017 at 7:53 pm

    stepping outside of your comfort zone is never easy – i am typically change averse and like to feel safe and within familiar territory, but it is good to push yourself every now and then in order to grow. Good luck – i await the new you with anticipation! x #kcacols

  64. Becky @ Educating Roversi

    February 5, 2017 at 7:05 pm

    A very motivational post. My school report actually said “Average”….as a teacher i know that we can’t get away with calling anyone that these days, let alone ourselves. I’ve always had to work hard to be better than average. If it’s something I’m passionate about then the motivation is there. If I’m not, I struggle to push myself. #KCACOLS

  65. Sonia

    February 5, 2017 at 6:30 pm

    It’s so easy to just trudge along, doing the same, day in, day out and never really achieve or reach for the stars. I read a really apt ‘one-liner’ the other day- When the last thing you really want to do is jump, that’s exactly what you should do. Seize the day, take the opportunity, be the best you can be. Go you! Xx #KCACOLS

  66. Gabriela Green

    February 5, 2017 at 5:51 pm

    This is such an inspiring post for me as I often need to push myself to do what I plan to.
    Good luck getting out of the comfort zone!
    #KCACOLS

  67. Bread

    February 5, 2017 at 5:20 pm

    Good luck! I am generally happy to be average sometimes as a serial quitter of things. #kcacols

  68. Jaki

    February 5, 2017 at 5:05 pm

    Brilliant! Turn up that dimmer switch and go shine brightly! #pocolo

  69. Helena

    February 5, 2017 at 5:01 pm

    This was a great read. May you burn brightly from now on. Thank you for sharing it with #PoCoLo

    1. Helena

      February 8, 2017 at 1:53 pm

      Back again via #KCACOLS

  70. Verily Victoria Vocalises

    February 5, 2017 at 4:38 pm

    I completely understand where you are coming from on this post. I think I stopped being afraid around 5 or 6 years ago – too scared of running out of time! #KCACOLS

  71. Emma me and b make tea

    February 5, 2017 at 2:36 pm

    I think I’ve always been a bit like you too. always been bright but could afraid to push myself. for me its always been believing in myself 🙂 lovely post and goodluck! #KCACOLS

  72. Sarah @tortoisehappy.com

    February 5, 2017 at 1:24 pm

    Your comfort zone is comfortable but it is not a place to grow and develop. But it takes a great deal of courage to leave it! All the best

    #KCACOLS

  73. Kimberley | Oh Just My Little Blog

    February 5, 2017 at 12:36 pm

    What a great attitude and good luck for future ventures! x #KCACOLS

  74. Helen @talking_mums

    February 5, 2017 at 11:13 am

    Keep on pushing and aiming for what makes you happy. Keep on shining x
    #KCACOLS

  75. Abigail Cullen

    February 5, 2017 at 11:09 am

    Love the way you wrote this and can now determine the real you, achieve the goals you require and grab with both hands. This is all to do with confidence, so good on you.

  76. Carolina Twin Mom / Mary Peterson

    February 5, 2017 at 4:21 am

    I think if we could all stop comparing ourselves to others we’d be so much better off! It’s just impossible, isn’t it? Focus on your own drive and your own abilities (that are clearly there!). Best of luck! #KCACOLS

  77. Nicole | The Professional Mom Project

    February 5, 2017 at 1:37 am

    What a great post. So forward looking to the future. It’s ok to take it easy and go along with things as they come sometimes. Then when you’re ready your light will shine. Good luck on accomplishing all that you hope to do. #KCACOLS

  78. Fiona Cambouropoulos

    February 5, 2017 at 1:06 am

    Sounds like a little of the wisdom that comes with age creeping in here, you go for it and push yourself to great things. #kcacols

  79. Geraldine

    February 4, 2017 at 10:58 pm

    This is such a beautifully written post. Your average is not someone else’s average and we set our own scale. Measure your average against yours happiness and it’ll all be more worthwhile #kcacols

  80. jeremy@thirstydaddy

    February 4, 2017 at 10:55 pm

    Who gets to say what being “average’ is? Do whatever you feel like, as long as it makes you happy. The only person who’s opinion matters is your own #kcacols

  81. Lydia C. Lee

    February 4, 2017 at 10:45 pm

    Average is more than ok if you are happy. Success for me is happiness. It’s a harder and more valuable asset, in my opinion. #Kcacols

  82. kristin mccarthy

    February 4, 2017 at 10:42 pm

    Good for you! realizing your potential is a powerful thing.

    #KCACOLS

  83. Peachy and her Mommy

    February 4, 2017 at 10:38 pm

    That was very well written. It can be scary to push ourselves beyond our comfort zone but that’s the only way to grow. #KCACOLS

  84. Emma and Family

    February 4, 2017 at 10:32 pm

    Beautifully written! Turn up that light, because you most certainly aren’t average! #KCACOLS

  85. Rachel George

    February 4, 2017 at 10:32 pm

    I love this! I have been struggling recently with my accessibility campaigning as it is really hard to raise your head above the parapet, particularly when you are struggling with everyday life, but I am inspired to shine brighter. Thank you.x #KCACOLS

  86. Chloe Ciliberto

    February 4, 2017 at 10:23 pm

    This is so, so beautiful. We all need to step out of the comfort zone and into the light at some point. It’s definitely not easy. This is the most inspiring read. xx

  87. Ali Duke

    February 4, 2017 at 10:21 pm

    This post is amazing. You are a bright light and should be very proud of what you are doing. I know you can and will achieve great things x
    #KCACOLS

  88. Mimi Rose and Me

    February 4, 2017 at 10:17 pm

    Wow what a post and beautifully written I might add. But I can relate to you in some many ways. I find it so hard to put myself out of my comfort zone, but when I push myself it does wonders. So shine and shine bright my lovely. #KCACOLS

  89. Nicky Kentisbeer

    February 4, 2017 at 10:11 pm

    Tracey, you have done brilliantly and you don’t give yourself enough credit. Well done x #kcacols

  90. OddHogg

    February 4, 2017 at 10:05 pm

    It’s really tough to come out of your comfort zone – it sounds like you’re getting there though #kcacols

  91. Jo - Mother of Teenagers

    February 4, 2017 at 4:20 pm

    Pushing ourselves out of our comfort zone is something we all find hard isn’t it and then once we have done it we wonder why we were so worried. Good for you for deciding to grasp the opportunities that come your way. #PoCoLo

  92. Margaret GALLAGHER

    February 3, 2017 at 11:54 pm

    Courage takes time
    Fear is so difficult to overcome
    Average is what others tell you it is
    To be your best -self belief
    Avoid or dissociate with cruel people family or not !good luck xxc

  93. Sheena Batey

    February 3, 2017 at 10:48 pm

    Confidence and belief in yourself comes with age

  94. Lucy At Home

    February 3, 2017 at 10:31 pm

    Wow yes! Go you! I feel inspired reading this, it’s so beautifully written! I wish you luck and courage with your new ventures. Go out and shine your light for everyone to see #PoCoLo

  95. Agent Spitback

    February 3, 2017 at 9:55 pm

    I am happy for you! Turn up your lights.

  96. Sirley Young

    February 3, 2017 at 8:08 am

    I’m scared of pushing myself 🙁

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