This week I am nervous, nervous, scared, yet a bit excited all at the same time.
This month is my turn to go for management training for work. I have been on the management team in the company for around 18 months now yet never had an official training. I work for Home Bargains and as they are now a national, not regional company they introduced a company training programme at the head office site complete with hotel/accommodation facilities. Excellent for singletons/childfree workers, not so much for parents.
I’ll tell you why. Unless you live within easy reach of the facility, live locally or are prepared to travel each day, you have to stay over or are recommended to Monday to Friday. I have to stay over. I have to travel over to Liverpool city centre (bus stop at front door and it is literally 4 stops about 15 minutes depending on traffic then about another hour to reach the retail park they are based on although I now know that transport is provided as are accommodation and meals like an all inclusive working holiday! Should be a really good experience as I intend to work my way up once Olivia is old enough to not need me at home so much any more.
But I am worried and scared. I am scared as I can sometime be really shy and kinda awkward in social situations, nervous and quiet around people I don’t know. Don’t get me wrong with some people I am comfortable and bubbly and chatty but others I just feel a bit intimidated,by or awkward around. So this is worrying me a bit. But I am actually excited as well to be going, I am torn between being nervous and being excited and then there is Olivia……..
I have never left Olivia before. Sure she has stayed out, she does when I am at work and when she was younger she would spend Friday through to Monday with her dad. But I have never gone away without her, never left her where she couldn’t come back to me if she wanted to. And now I am going away. For 5 days without her. In the care of my sister and family, not that that is the issue although I am worried she will play up for them as she does now if she doesn’t want to stay out. I know she will miss me, and I will feel lost without her and guilty really really guilty. But I suppose that’s just a mummy thing isn’t it! Perfectly normal to worry.
On the plus side, no housework, no cooking or cleaning or washing, no school runs just me, my work and my me time. Maybe I will enjoy this after all…….
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