I’ve been watching this spiderweb in my garden for days now. I don’t know how long it’s been there. I have only just noticed it recently. Day’s, months even who knows. It may have been silently inhabiting my garden for longer than I have lived here. Just getting on with things. Being a spider.
I noticed it on wheelie bin day. The actual spider itself. I had been looking at it’s beautiful web through my kitchen window. Silently praying the spider who created had since moved on. It hadn’t of course and undisturbed it continued to weave and expand it’s web ever wider.
I liked the web. The way the strands glistened in the sunlight. Almost twinkling outside as if brightening up the garden on a gloomy day. I never touched it. I looked of course as I passed by the bin to get on with my day. Hanging up the washing or even just to go out and look at the web.
I admired the spiders dedication whilst simultaneously praying it wouldn’t find it’s way inside unlike so many others before it. I marvelled at how something so small could produce something so beautiful. It never made it’s way into the house, choosing instead to expand it’s creation over and across my window. Yet still I refused to move it. My fear of spiders compelling me to just stay away and watch. But the spider, the spider wasn’t scared at all.
He stayed put in the blazing sun. Seeking shelter in the shade when it appeared to much. Just under my security light. Steadfast in the face of frenzied gusts of wind. It remained dead center of it’s web. Still, patient, waiting it out. Until the storm had passed. I have no idea what it done in the rain for I too was hiding out elsewhere. Protecting myself from the elements. Seeking shade from what was being thrown at me.
Faced with all this the spider didn’t give up. It held on, it held out. It’s tenacity admirable, perseverance uplifting. It had a goal, a purpose and that wasn’t given up on. I have a lot to learn from the spider. The one who quietly and stealthily created the beautiful web in my garden. Who wasn’t phased by this intruder getting in it’s way but using what was around it to create something special.
I wonder what will become of the spider in my garden. Will it stay with me. Ever on the boundaries of my home to continue to weave it’s around or will it decide it needs something else something different. I have spent many hours this week staring at the web. Admiring and seeking comfort and solace in the fact that come rain or shine it too, along with it’s creator, hung on in there. It lived to see another day.
Like me, just hanging on in there contemplating which way to go, where to turn and figure out some calm place to exist amidst all this chaos we call life. There’s been a lot going on recently. A lot which I choose not to share. Words failing me when I sit down to write. But the spider, in the short time we have been together, has given me something valuable. A clarity. Sense of calm and purpose.
I feel like that web right now. Being pulled and stretched in different direction by many different forces. Parts being added continuously, frequently. With me, in the middle of the web of my life, just clinging on and hoping for the best. Just like the spider. Waiting, inspecting, repairing any damage. I too will fix and mend clear up after anything that comes my way. For if I don’t will I inevitably become that web? Will I lose my grip on the ever expanding reality that comes with being a grown up? Will it all disappear as soon as someone brushes my web aside?