“Hey Fat Arse”

So there I was standing at the bus stop minding my own business on a Sunday morning. I had spent the past couple of hours primping and preening and getting ready for my first ever bloggers event. I had been shopping and in true mum who is broke and needs things to be practical style picked out an outfit, by myself, that I deemed to look good and tick the afore mentioned boxes. I had new clothes and new shoes on and I thought I looked half OK, like maybe 7 out of 10 for effort.

All ready for the #LIVBLOGGERSBALL #livbloggers top from @peacocksonline #ootd #pblogger #fashion

A photo posted by Tracey Bowden (@onefrazzledmum) on

New shoes love these from primark #primark #ootd #pblogger #fashion

A photo posted by Tracey Bowden (@onefrazzledmum) on

So as I said minding my own business, feeling good, confident and wondering where the hell this bus was. Then in a split second from behind me a white van flew past. Ha, white van you know where this is going don’t you. As it flew past I heard “Hey, Fat Arse” There was literally only me around. No one else, and before I realised the van was gone just as quick as it went past. And with it I was left standing there feeling like a fat old frump who had no place wearing these clothes and definitely shouldn’t be trying to fit in with or even show up at the event. The wind had well and truly been taken out of my sails and all my insecuritiesΒ came flooding back. I wanted to go back into my house and forget about being out in the world and being me.

3 little words was all it took to make me feel worse than I have felt in a long time. To make me want to hide away feeling like a failure. A fattie. A big girl. A greedy bitch. My self confidence was already low and it went from hovering around none existent to gone. Just like that. Isn’t it amazing what a flippant remark from a faceless voice can do. A faceless voice who at that moment decided to derive a laugh at someone else’s expense. I wonder what on earth possessed him, because it was definitely a man to shout out at me standing there. Was I the only person picked out on that drive to be humiliated or was I merely one in many?

Less than 5 minutes later as I was dwelling on the words, manically chewing on the inside of my cheek and feeling more and more self concious the bus came round the corner. I got on the bus. I got on and sat down opposite my friend who was meeting me and off I went. I left those nasty 3 words at the bus stop evaporating into thin air where they belonged and got on with my day. In doing so I broke away from those 3 words that were designed, intentionally or not to make to feel like I worthless because I am carrying a few extra inches on my arse and various other places too and raise cheap laugh at my expense. Words meant to shame and humiliate the person attached to that fat arse because society deems those extra inches to be wrong and disgusting. Now let me tell you Mr.White Van Man,

Those words had that much of an impact on me I had forgotten all about them before we even got off the bus!

I know why I have those extra inches, I am not blind or in denial that yes, I am plus size. I eat a lot. I eat the wrong foods at the wrong time and have an appetite that could compete against Adam Richman in his Man vs Food days. But do those extra inches mean that I should listen and accept the abused hurled at me. Should I feel bad for being fat, arse, tummy and all. Am I any less of a person because of my size. The answer is no. No I am not and nor should I or anyone else be made to feel that we are because of the size of our bodies, fat, thin or anywhere in between. With all the sh*t going on in the world should it really matter that my size 8 clothes all have a 1 before the 8? Personally I think it says more about them than meΒ because if they have to make themselves feel good by belittling me then they are the ones with the problem not me.

So do you know what. I am going to keep on being me. I’m going to continue to try and be healthy as I was anyway. I am going to carry on going to the gym, as I was anyway, because I enjoy it. I am not going to take those words to heart and overhaul my diet because someone thinks I have a fat arse. I am going to keep on trying do it for me as I was anyway. In short nothing has changed. I wont hide away and I won’t change me because someone else has an issue with my body because you what, I have better things to do with my time.

So Mr. White Van Man, you can take your words and stick ’em because I am,

#BIGANDPROUD

The Secret Diary of Agent Spitback
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  1. Urgh these type of people are not worth the time of day, I honestly think you looked lovely, keep being awesome and keep being you.

  2. Good attitude! You can guarantee those men will have done it to multiple people, every day, always picking things that are either supposed to insult or to degrade, and probably only picking women. But the important thing is it says nothing about you at all, not even to them. They don’t actually have any opinion on you either way, good or bad: no matter who you are, they will pick something to yell. It doesn’t say that there is anything wrong with you, but it does tell you a lot about them. That they feel inadequate, pathetic, and probably with some reason, too! Feel sorry for them and ignore! Thanks for linking up to #PasstheSauce

  3. I cannot believe people sometimes. I mean, how little do you really have to feel to put others down around you. I’m really not sure why so many focus on bringing others down-it really is a much better feeling to lift them up.
    I’m so happy to hear that you shrugged off white van man’s horrible comments, and got on with your day!
    By the way, I think you looked beautiful <3 #KCACOLS

  4. Good for you for taking the high road. People can be so cruel and there really is no reason for it. Hold your head high and be the best you can be…stuff the rest! #PasstheSauce

  5. My piss was boiling while I read this. My best friend had a similar experience recently and I don’t think I’ve ever been so angry before.

    You looked gorgeous and he is probably as ugly as he is vile. Just be you, bollocks to everyone else. #passthesauce

  6. Dont let him ruin you hun, are you lovely! Your outfit and shoes are also gorgeous too, I hope you enjoyed the event and put his vile comment high up on a shelf to think over another time x

  7. Grr! Nobody has the right to say that sort of thing….Especially not someone driving past in a van. What a coward. I bet they wouldn’t dare say it to your face. I think you look fab and I do love those shoes x