Do You Have a Tween?

Do you have a tween? Do you know what a tween is? Would you know how to deal with one if you came across one?

Tween: A tween is child who is approaching teenage years but is not quite there yet. Usually found around the ages of 10-12 but has been seen in in kids as young as 8, characteristics may vary.

There are many distinguishing characteristics displayed by your average tween and before you know it you could find yourself a parent to one with absolutely no frikken idea of how on earth to deal with them.

Firstly you spend your morning treading on eggshells, creeping into the bedroom praying to god, that today isn’t going to be the day you get your head bitten off, because you, unknowingly I might add, accidentally woke them up from the most amazing dream ever and they didn’t want to wake up (possibly accompanied by tears/dramatic over exaggeration) and oh my god , is it too early to open the wine?!?!

It’s a gamble, one you have to take but never fully prepared for.

Having everything just so is an absolute necessity, you dread to think of the consequences if you pick the wrong pair of school socks, have to be grey not white, or give her a skirt instead of a dress for school. Labour breathing exercises come in really handy here and that count to 10 rule, scrap that unless it includes shots. even at 10am.

Knowing every single word of pretty much every single episode of every single mind numbing series on the Disney Channel is A MUST. You have to, I mean it will be all you watch, like ever. At all times, and they absolutely do not care that you pay the bill or even that you have turned it off and hid the remote because unlike you they have the buttons on the Sky box completely sussed! Gahhh!!!!!! When you find yourself say ‘Oh come on, we watched this yesterday’ well there is nothing that can save you anymore. (btw The Disney Channel do show Boy Meets World. I loved Boy Meets World growing up and Shawn was my first crush other than Mark Owen but you know……..)

Repetition becomes the only form of communication necessary. Are you dressed yet? Can you get dressed for me please? Seriously how HARD IS IT TO GET DRESSED? Leading to I swear to god do not make me tell you to get dressed again or {insert appropriate threat/punishment} Don’t even get me started on getting the dang bedroom tidied, the only way to describe this challenge is……..*sharp exhale of breath and quickening of pulse and steam coming out ears*

There will be arguments, regardless of how many times you say you won’t, you absolutely will. It’s inevitable trust me. They can and will do that to you, drag you to that point, irrationally taking and twisting everything until you are so confused about how you get to this point all you can do calmly is to frown and/or raise an eyebrow (come on who’s trying that right now?). But…….. now this is a big but……….do not under any circumstances laugh at how completely and utterly ridiculous the whole situation has become, trust me this helps no one! Think nuclear explosion then times that by 100 and BOOM! Yep, it totally went there! Still thinking it’s too early for the wine? You can count yourself lucky if halfway through said argument, you don’t realise that you are in fact arguing with yourself, in this case this will not be pretty ( Fact!) and you will be silently hating the fact that they get this personality trait from you!

Tween’s are physically and mentally unable to do pretty much anything for themselves. ‘Mum, can you get me a drink’ ‘Mum I know you’ve just sat down to eat the dinner you’ve spent all day making but can you go and get {insert the most inappropriate thing you can think of}’ Cue narrow eyes pursed lips, I swear if I was Superman she would be feeling the full wrath of my glare right about now. Yes, to the average tween aged person you are at their beck and call, 24/7, 7 days a week with no time off for good behaviour, breaks and crappy pay and benefits.

Sound familiar? Yes? Then you my friend are the parent of a tween, welcome to the club!

*Disclaimer: Not all tweens are the same, all views are based on my own personal experiences and I thank you for your pity for me on this subject and I hope to come out of it unscathed eventually*
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  1. Sad to say but you are 100% right! I would say RUN but the tween will probably be faster than you now. I survived two and now entering my third and I still feel I haven’t gotten the hang yet. I enjoyed reading your post! Made me laugh and smile and think at least there is a club to join! Hope to see you again at #abitofeverything

  2. Ha! This made me laugh so much!
    I have one of these! He’s 11 going on 15! Some days it’s okay, but others we get grunts in response to questions!
    I completely agree with the repetition. I must have to say everything at least a dozen times!

    Laura xx


  3. Oh hun I am totally with you! My boy (11) drives me mad most days! This morning it was an argument over whether or not he should be playing with his brothers (6) toys! I’ve been called evil, and mean. And that’s just for asking him to tidy his room. I’m completely dreading the teen years!

  4. I have a tween!! Miss C is 10 and yes i can totally relate to everything, treading on egg shells, over dramatising everything, full blown out of nowhere strops and don’t get me started on the Disney Channel haha! #KCACOLS

  5. I have three teens and a tween. I have to say the girls seem to be a lot more emotional and you can really see the changes in them. Saying that my son does turn into toddler mode every now and again and can be a handful! Basically wine isn’t strong enough… send the brandy!

  6. I currently have a tween and two teenagers, all girls. The arguments in this house are just beyond, literally there are no words to express how illogical and frustrating they are! I am counting down the days to when my twins leave home to start university, only another 1200 or so!

    1. I’ve been doing the same but now my son is applying to uni and I am persuading him to stay in London because I don’t want him to leave 🙁 cant live with them, cant live without them!

  7. It is just an awful age isn’t it, all of those hormones running around not quite sure where they are going, growth spurts coming in and trying to deal with it all is just raging x

  8. Good golly tweens sounds like such a challenge, not to mention such hard work *gulps*. Hmmm is it at all possible for my two year old not only to be a threenager, but a tween too? lol. She’s pretty much hard work I tell ya! Wishing you all the best with your tween. xx #KCACOLS

  9. Hehe, loved this! I have the tween years yet to come though I particularly dread the endless rewatching of TV shows / films. My partner is like that now, so our daughter is sure to follow in his footsteps – I’m of the ‘I saw it once twelve years ago and it was the best thing I’ve ever seen, but why on earth would I want to watch it again?’ school of thought! 🙂 #KCACOLS

  10. Oh I read this with a knowing smile on my face, I too have one of these and just lately my blog is full of my stories and just started the Mum v Daughter saga which so far is me 2 her 0. I do feel for you as live it daily too

  11. I’m in the odd position of being as close in age to a tween as my toddler daughter is (which is very weird), and the memories of my own tween years make me veeeery nervous about the prospect of her becoming one!
    On the bright side my parents came out pretty much unscathed, fingers crossed you’ll be on the other side of it in no time! (And challenging tween years means you’re owed trouble-free teenage years, I reckon… not that it worked out that way for my poor parents… I’m great now, honest 😉 ) Great post, really made me smile! x