An Unexpected Visitor

I have been umming and ahhing over writing this post. It’s been written, rewritten and deleted but I have decided what the heck why not. It’s my blog to write about what I see fit and I have something to say. After all sharing is caring, a problem halved and all that………

Backstory: My parents divorced when I was young and from around the age of about 13ish I have had very sporadic and minimal contact with my dad. We never really stayed close with his family and when he disappeared to Essex nearly 20 years ago contact pretty much ceased until I left school and entered my late teen stage.

For about 12 months when I was 19 I went to live with him but came back just before my 20th birthday. We managed to keep in touch for a few years but again contact pretty much ceased. Out of sight out of mind and after all it’s not like he has been a doting father or even an interested one and seeing as he very rarely visited no one really missed him if I am honest. We got on with our daily lives growing up, starting our adult lives and having our gorgeous babies.

When Olivia was 3 months old I had a knock at the door one day, and can you guess who was stood there? Yep you guessed it the absentee father. No warning no nothing just me stood there shell shocked, how on earth did he know where I lived for a start!!!!!!!!!!!! He stayed for a few hours, yep a whole 3 hours. He bought Olivia some presents and disappeared again.

Since then he hasn’t really kept in touch and to be honest I wasn’t really bothered, I mean I had my own family to worry about now didn’t I! and as I mentioned it’s not really like he played a big part in my life for me to be missing anything.

But then a few weeks ago one our girls came to the office to tell me that someone was here to see me and yep you guessed it…….. standing there in front of me in my shop almost 8 years to the day since the last time he showed up. WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Excuse my language but what kind of person thinks that is actually acceptable, to turn up on my doorstep so to speak without a word of warning after all that time and expect me to be pleased about it!

I had so many thoughts running around my head I don’t even know where to start ARRRRGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But in the end it turned out he only had the decency to give me 10 minutes of his time, didn’t ask if he could see any of his grand-kids, he didn’t even know how many he had! That is disgraceful by any standards, even worse than not knowing that a few days before it was my birthday! Just wrong but then if you don’t keep in touch you’re not going to know are you so lose lose there hey “dad”  but at least he asked about Olivia even if he didn’t know how old she was either 8 by the way 8 as in 8 years since you last bothered to show your face!

Just goes to show that indeed anyone can have children but not every one can be a parent……..

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  1. Gosh, the cheek! What on makes him think its right to just keep disappearing and reappearing. I think you need to read him the riot act hun, tell him to either keep in contact or go for good. You have a life which you want to lead, perhaps you need to make that decision for him, tell him where he stands? It’s going to confuse yourself and your daughter if he just thinks he can come and go. x

  2. It baffles me how some parents feel no need to see their children. I would walk to hell and back to see my kids – whether child or adult!!