Being a parent is everything you dreamed it would be – and more.

So why do you still feel “incomplete?”

Like many other parents, you may have been recently diagnosed with secondary infertility. Despite the birth of your first child (or first children) being relatively straightforward, conceiving your second isn’t. And that’s hard to take.

Now you face the task of choosing which fertility treatment is best for you, and making tough decisions for you and your family.

Donor egg may be one option you’re considering; but is it right for you? What can you expect from the process?

Let’s go through some of the most common questions you may have.

Is Donor Egg Right for Me?

Before you go any further, it’s important to feel comfortable and confident in the fertility route you’re taking.

Secondary infertility is often caused by a woman’s egg quantity and quality diminishing with age. Unfortunately, these types of diagnoses can begin as early as your 30s.

If this is the case, donor egg, adoption, and surrogacy are all options available to you.

Adoption is a great choice if you’re happy with there being no genetic link between you, your partner, and your child. While surrogacy and donor egg both allow you to use your partner’s sperm, the former doesn’t give you the opportunity to carry and give birth to your child.

Egg donation is the best option if you wish to enjoy pregnancy and delivery. After the initial course of hormones and the implantation of your embryo, you’re free to enjoy a pregnancy just like your first.

Should I Use a Donor I Know?

When choosing an egg donor, one option is to use a donor you know. A family friend or family member may offer their help and give you the security and peace of mind you need.

You’ll know where your baby’s genes come from – and they may even be linked to your own.

Yet, how will this impact your relationship with the donor further down the line? What kind of role will they play in your baby’s life? Will you tell people and/or your child about their donor’s identity?

It’s important to answer these questions beforehand and address any thoughts or fears before you proceed. While having a link between your child and their donor may seem preferable at first, the strains on personal relationships may begin to cast doubts on this idea.

How Will I Feel If I Use an Anonymous Donor?

Another option to consider is using an anonymous donor. You may be unsure of choosing an anonymous donor at first, but once you begin exploring the possibilities available, you’ll start to see things in a different light.

Anonymous egg donors aren’t just picked at random and assigned to you. Rather, you’re able to choose your perfect donor from a large database. This database contains personal and biological details about the donors, including their hair and eye colour, their academic achievements, and their personal traits.

This allows you to get to know your donor before you take the next step. Additionally, it allows you to have significant control over your child’s genetic makeup.

Will We Bond As a Family?

As you’re searching for your donor and planning the next steps, you’ll no doubt ride through a rollercoaster of emotions.

Another common fear is whether the donor egg conceived children will bond with their parents and siblings.

While these thoughts are completely normal (and important to work through), it’s worth noting that bonds are not created on genetics alone.

A mother and child’s bond is established through nurturing and love. A sibling’s bond is created as they watch their baby brother or sister grow and they take on the role of the older, protective sibling.

Watching your baby grow inside you, feeling their first kick, and enjoying your firstborn’s excitement at the thought of your new arrival creates family bonds like no other. Secondary infertility may have sent shockwaves through your family, but it isn’t going to stop you from completing it.