There’s this whole thing in the media about Katie Hopkins putting on weight to show how easy it is to lose it. To show the fatties that there is no excuse for the way that they are but is it really that simple?
Let me tell you my story.
I have struggled with my weight my whole adult life. It started at school with the envious looks at the skinny girls. I wasn’t big myself but was aware that I carried weight easily on my stomach.
Upon leaving school I started work and remember frantically dieting to fit into dresses for the weekend. I didn’t need to lose it but still I tried.
The first time I actually put weight on was when I was 19. I moved away changed jobs but failed to change my eating habits and on piled the weight. I felt huge but in reality I was only 10 stone not excessively overweight but I hated it.
I stayed around this weight yoyo ing between 10 and 11 stone until I became pregnant with Olivia. This is where it all changed. Eating what I wanted when I wanted without a care in the world.
I put on 2 stone losing just 1 when I gave birth. But at that point I had better things to worry about. I didn’t worry about it until I split from Olivia’s dad. I have no idea exactly what weight I was but after a few months of being single I enrolled in a course with my doctors about educating me on how to have a healthy diet, understanding food labels and making wiser food choices all based on the balanced nutrition plate. It was a 12 week course and I managed to lose 12lb just changing my diet no exercise except walking. I was at my lowest since being pregnant at 11st 13lb and Olivia was 3 and a half by this point.
Since then I have struggled and I mean really struggled. I seem to have no self control at times. If I feel sad, I eat. If I’m happy I won’t even thing about what I am eating. Stressed? Bring out the chocolate. I eat junk then skip meals. Sometimes my days can be filled with non stop eating I find it really hard to feel satisfied at time and I know that this is something I really need to work on.
The worst part is the actually physical cravings. My body being so used to getting these foods that if it doesn’t get them I genuinely cannot help myself at times. It feels like almost an addiction as silly as it sounds to some people, food too just like anything else can be an addiction.
Of course I have tried many things to help shift the weight but none of them have been that permanent solution that I stick to and keep going. Slim Fast, Desirable Body, Closer Diets, 5:2 you name it I have probably tried it. But my love for all things calorific and my laziness and complete disorganisation always derail me. But I am under no illusions my problems with food are exactly that my problems and habits I am yet to break. There is no miracle cure but with no willpower there will be no weight loss. I am my own worst enemy.
Last year I took part in a 10 week challenge with Desirable Body and through sheer hardwork, a complete diet overhaul, supplements and a lot of exercise I managed to lose 22lbs and 23.5in! So the thing is you don’t need to tell me it can be done, I know it can be done. But it was all undone when I couldn’t go to the gym or swimming due to severe dizzy spells and suspected Menieres Disease. Luckily it wasn’t.
I want to change, I need to change but it is not as easy as it looks. Losing weight isn’t about isn’t all about what you eat. It is about why you eat what you do. It’s about changing your whole mindset about food and stopping all the bad habits that have become part and parcel of who you are right now. I’m not saying it can’t be done but it is not easy.
I want to be able to look in the mirror without feeling disgusted with myself, to be able to go out in public without worrying about what people may be thinking about me. To eat in public comfortably without looking and feeling like a greedy pig. To hold my head high and not feel ashamed with the way I look.
But mostly I want my confidence back. I want to feel like me again not the me stuck inside all these extra layers I have now. I am ready to change but the question is can I? I’m not so sure but what I do know is I won’t stop trying. I will find the holy grail of healthy living and eating that works for me.
So with all due respect and no nastiness involved I really hope Katie Hopkins struggles with her impending weight loss because if losing weight was easy no one would be fat would would they…….