Once upon a time, there was a girl called Stacey. Stacey loved cake and chocolate and meals she didn’t have to cook. Meals that came with phone numbers or appeared by magic from the click of the mouse. Basically, Stacey is lazy. She needs serious help getting healthy again.
The past few years had seen Stacey develop a strange relationship with food. A cycle of yo-yo dieting and stop-start workouts plagued her life recently. She would loudly proclaim to anyone who would listen that she loved to workout. Selfies in the gym and Instagrams of her protein shake for after kettlecise became a standard. She knew people eye rolled when they saw them but she was getting fit and fabulous and wanted the world to know.
Funny how she never really told the world when the workouts fizzled out and the only exercise she indulged in these days was weightlifting. Cake into her mouth that is. Oh, Stacey, where did it all go wrong? She definitely wouldn’t be getting healthy living like this would she?
What Happened to Stacey?
It all went wrong the night she woke up at 3 am with the most excruciating back pain known to man. It was even worse than man flu. She knew she has had it. It was kind of like labour in a way. It made her think for a minute, could it be…….. Deep down she knew it wasn’t but her sleep deprived brain was foggy and her body broken, or in danger of breaking if this pain got any worse. Plus she would have been pregnant since like forever and she may be old but even she remembers how babies are made. No, it definitely wasn’t labour.
Whatever it was finally eased off 2 hours later and in the classy position of feet up the wall and head propped up on about 6 scatter cushions Stacey found the sleep she was craving and succumbed to it wholly.
Fast Forward 3 months…….
Stacey was wallowing big time in her pain. Sugar was her friend and nothing, quite literally except work, dragged her from her bed. Nothing. So she lived (if you call this living, not sure it was more like existing if you ask me) like this. Day in, Day out. Life pretty much sucked in a I’m in pain and the doctors don’t know what it is kind of way. Woe is me, get the violin out. Most nights she could be found with her hand in a bag of something or other munching away watching repeats of Greys Anatomy.
Then one day a brand new shiny pair of trainers turned up at her door. Flashbacks of days gone by in the gym came flooding back to her as she marvelled at how fab they looked. Her rose-tinted glasses made her yearn for more. More workouts, more gym, more exercise. Those glasses were heavily tinted. The morning after pain had completely slipped her mind. As had those times she couldn’t bend down or use the stairs because her legs felt like someone had ripped them off then hammered them back into place back to front.
But Stacey didn’t care. Because those Sketchers at Brantano she had seen were now hers. Oh, the Go Walk 3. How she wanted a pair of trainers like these for so long. The heavens opened and the angels came out to sing as she held them high to show off to the kingdom. (Dramatic much, it’s a pair of trainers not the Lion King woman, seriously!)
How To Lose 10 stone in a day……..
With her rose tinted glasses on Stacey proceeded to dig out her Fitbit flex. She knew she had one once. Stacey found it in a hiding place she had forgotten about/hidden in so she couldn’t find it accidentally on purpose. She charged it up and began Googling. Looking for things like ‘best HIIT workouts for a flabby belly‘ and ‘how to lose a stone overnight‘. The answers weren’t pretty. And she was pretty sure any ‘miracle cures’ claiming to do just that were quite possibly illegal.
So it was back to the body coach and his killer HIIT workouts on You Tube for Stacey. Every muscle in her body sobbed at the thought and were all quite possibly still in shock from the last attempt to get fit via this method. But her mind was made up. Her alarm was set for the ungodly hour of 6 am. She would get fit. She would eat better. Stacey you can do this, she told herself. Right after she finished off her family size bar of Galaxy and reached the end of season 3 of Greys Anatomy for like the 4th time!
Is Stacey Still Lazy, or is She Getting Healthy Again?
She’s doing really well you know. There is a slight disagreement with the alarm most mornings but by 8 am Stacey, has smashed a 10-20 minute HIIT workout, had a shower and managed to get the daughter dressed for school. That’s progress in anyone’s book right!
BTW, in case you hadn’t figured it out I am Stacey! Who’d have guessed hey.
Seriously, though, this first week getting back into working out has been a killer. One day I was breathing so hard Olivia actually came into my room to check if I needed an ambulance. I nearly said yes. Burpees are the devils work.
I have been using my Fitbit and the S Health app on my phone to track my food, heart rate, stress levels, steps and workouts. Tracking it really helps. I can see exactly what I am burning off and how much I have eaten. It’s not been perfect every day, but there is definite progress. I am hoping to continue and build on this while I am off work over the next week. It’s a great tool for me to see how I’m going as I’m on my getting healthy mission.
To help with this I am also taking Orlistat tablets. Not for the faint hearted, these weight loss tablets help to reduce your fat intake as part of a calorie controlled diet. They also have some pretty nasty side effects so I will have to be very careful with what I eat.
Exercise has most definitely been the thing that has been lacking in my life of late. Even though I’m not great at sticking to a schedule or routine, I’m taking baby steps in the right direction. Hopefully, it’s not the direction of a cake stand although there are no guarantees I won’t take another detour in that direction!
So wish me luck in getting healthy again and cross your fingers I last longer than Denny in Season 2!