You take it for granted that it is going to be there, every day with out fail. But what do you do when it’s not. How do you cope, how do you carry on. What can you do, is there anything you can do?
Why would it happen, how could it so, why would this be anything but wrong. The emotions, the pain, confusion and hurt. It can’t be right it is all just so wrong. How does life go on, carry on as normal. People around carrying on oblivious to it as if nothing is wrong but how could they be, can’t they see it, can’t they see that it is all just so wrong so very wrong.
I have changed, it all has changed, everything I took for granted, the good the bad, the fun and sad. It was all there so very real but now, now it’s over and it’s all gone. I’ve gone, it’s gone, me, my time, my life, my everything.
I’m suffocating, it’s real it’s too much. I can feel it swallowing me whole and I just can’t stop it. I can’t breathe, the air…….. it’s just so……. I don’t know I can’t think, I can’t take it in. What has just happened, what did you say? I need to sit down, help me sit down. It seems so unreal yet the most real thing I have ever experienced yet I can see them all passing by just walking there, unknowing, unaware, detached from what’s happening but how can they be? Don’t they know, why don’t you know I want to scream, why don’t you know. But they can’t, they won’t they are strangers, nameless facing living their life separate from this, from me, from……….
But it’s changed, I have changed, it’s all different, so new and scary, could I, would I, should I, can I? I took it all for granted and now it’s changed.