Fiction

Fiction: The Secrets of Saltlake, After the beach

If you are here to catch up in the next instalment of my Secrets of Saltlake series, thank you! I am still loving this series so far and at the time of writing this, I have ideas bursting out of everywhere. My fingers can’t type fast enough to keep up with them so I hope it is starting to make sense. If you would like to you can read the first instalment The Secrets of Saltlake before this one or you can read this and decide if you like it before reading the other part. This series currently has 4 parts but I’m thinking 6 will fill in the gaps nicely. I have written the next part and the last instalment so I need 2 more to complete the story I think.

I’m thinking I should have kept this all to one side as a novella but when I wrote the first piece I didn’t have any clue how or where it would take me. So as I have done before I am making it into a series just for my readers. As always, any feedback and constructive criticism welcome.Β 

The Secrets of Saltlake: After the Beach.

Ariel had been in contact with her dad straight after the beach incident. Jonny had tried to talk to her in the car about it but she changed the subject. She knew she sounded like those vacuous cheerleaders she had met on the squad whose lives revolved around their sport and their social lives. She never wanted to be like them and Jonny knew she wasn’t. Brianne was a cheerleader and one of her oldest friends. Yet cheerleading to her, although her passion was the route to a scholarship to follow her dreams. That girl was headed somewhere.

But still, Ariel waffled on about how she couldn’t wait to see the girls and she wondered had Emma spoke to Steve, the editor of the school newspaper and blog since their date last Friday. She couldn’t help herself. She had to free her mind to converse with her dad and show him what had happened yet she couldn’t just ignore Jonny. She could feel him freaking out behind his calm exterior. As a quarterback she knew he was level headed and reliable under pressure, she had seen that many a time whilst cheering him on from the bleachers. But never before had she picked up on his fear like she was now.

She gave his hand a squeeze as he reached for her from the driving seat. Eyes fixed firmly on the road, his jaw was clenched and she could tell he was grinding his teeth. The sun had caught his face and gave a glow to his healthy Mediterranean complexion. Jonny’s family were Sicilian and despite not having visited Β Sicily since he was a young boy, he still carried the characteristics of heritage with him respecting not only his elders and their traditions but also his olive eyes and jet black hair gave him that irresistible Italian look all the girls at school swooned over.

The drive was taking forever. Usually, it didn’t take so long but it seems the whole of Saltlake had been at the beach and after that ferocious explosion of purple lightening in the sky, it seemed everyone had decided to leave pretty quick too. Jonny rapped his fingernails against the steering wheel. The nervous energy building up inside was too much to bear it felt like it was going to explode from inside him any second.

His cool exterior was fooling no one he thought to himself as he stared at the traffic building up on the little dirt road ahead of him. You would think by now Saltlake would have made a proper asphalt road or something in and out to the beach but the mayor voted against it saying it would ruin the charm and the landscape or the little fishing town. So the dirt road remained, as did the ever increasing line of cars and 4×4’s trying to exit all at the same time.

Ariel’s voice snapped him back to the present. She was still wittering on about Emma and Steve. He had spoken to Steve yesterday. They didn’t usually hang out but they had 3rd period English together and Jonny thought if he was going to be dating one of Ariel’s friends he may as well get to know the guy. He did really like Emma and was taking her out for dinner tonight. That’s why we were going to meet them. But he still couldn’t shake this feeling inside him that something was really really wrong and Ariel knew a damn sight more about the purple and the lightening than she was letting on.

She could discuss her friends and the upcoming volleyball tournament at school all she wanted but Jonny was determined to find out what it was she wasn’t telling him and his resolve hardened as he returned the squeeze of her hand interlocking their fingers as he gently kissed her pink polished fingernails.

Keep Calm and Carry On Linking Sunday

Lucy At Home

If you are enjoying this series so far then please pop your details below to be kept up to date with how the story is progressing and when the next instalment will be live.



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54 Comments

  1. Silly Mummy

    May 27, 2017 at 2:43 pm

    Very intriguing! I can never think of a coherent plot to write fiction – well done! #KCACOLS

  2. Nadia - Scandimummy

    May 26, 2017 at 10:21 pm

    You are on a roll. Wonderful writing as always.. #KCACOLS
    Nadia x

  3. ohmummymia

    May 26, 2017 at 10:07 pm

    lovely story looking forward to the next brilliant piece:)
    #KCACOLS

  4. Kate Eccles

    May 26, 2017 at 10:45 am

    Looking forward to the next instalment Tracey πŸ™‚ #KCACOLS

  5. Mummy and the Mexicans

    May 26, 2017 at 2:23 am

    This is great! I love the idea of publishing a story in installments. Now I’ll have to catch up with the first installment! #KCACOLS

  6. five little doves

    May 25, 2017 at 9:17 pm

    Ooh this is amazing, you are so talented! Will make sure to read the next instalment! #kcacols

  7. Madeline (This Glorious Life)

    May 25, 2017 at 9:08 pm

    Well now I’m intrigued and need to go and read the rest! Fab bit of writing! x #KCACOLS

  8. the frenchie mummy

    May 25, 2017 at 5:19 pm

    I am so loving this! And every time I can’t wait for the next bit!! #kcacols

  9. Nicky Kentisbeer

    May 25, 2017 at 1:10 pm

    Fab Tracey – well done for keeping at it. #KCACOLS

  10. Maria

    May 24, 2017 at 10:11 pm

    You already know that I LOVE this new series Tracey! It’s so well written and has kept me in suspense and wanting more! I can’t wait to see what you come up with next for a new series #KCACOLS

  11. Helen @Talking_Mums

    May 24, 2017 at 9:15 pm

    Another lovely installment, I wish I could write like this x
    #KCACOLS

  12. Geraldine Walsh

    May 24, 2017 at 8:43 pm

    Fantastic loveday reading this. Thanks for sharing #kcacols

  13. Sara | mumturnedmom

    May 24, 2017 at 5:40 pm

    Another great piece! Looking forward to the next installment πŸ™‚ #Prose4T

  14. Cheryl @ Tea or Wine

    May 23, 2017 at 11:11 am

    Love the vivid descriptions! Looking forward to reading the next instalment! #KCACOLS

  15. Lucy At Home

    May 22, 2017 at 6:18 pm

    Ooo I didn’t know you wrote fiction too! How exciting! Wasn’t it Charles Dickens who first printed his stories in weekly installments in the newspaper? It definitely adds to the suspense! #blogcrush

  16. Inclusive Home

    May 21, 2017 at 10:31 pm

    Looking forward to the next instalment! #KCACOLS

  17. Oldhouseintheshires

    May 20, 2017 at 6:07 pm

    Great writing. Will need to go back and read the other bit! Well done. #kcacols

  18. Wendy

    May 20, 2017 at 10:48 am

    I thought I’d already commented on this but obviously not? This is a great piece of fiction, you really drew me into the story and I would love to find out more. Xx #kcacols

    1. tracey bowden

      May 21, 2017 at 11:39 am

      I think it may have been part 1! x

  19. Emma me and b make tea

    May 18, 2017 at 1:28 pm

    I used to write fiction when I was younger but only focus on the blog now! well done for such an intriguing piece! #KCACOLS

  20. Petite Words

    May 18, 2017 at 1:20 pm

    Amazing! I too find writing soothes my life and keeps me sane, well kind of! Well done you. #KCACOLS

  21. Tammymum

    May 17, 2017 at 8:51 pm

    Oh this is fab, well done you. I would love to dedicate some time to fiction writing. #KCACOLS

  22. Tooting Mama

    May 16, 2017 at 2:56 pm

    Great going! Brilliant that you are exercising your creative juices, keep it coming! #KCACOLS

  23. Ann from Rainbows are too beautiful

    May 15, 2017 at 6:49 pm

    Love it – should really get my nails painted too I think.

  24. Mummy Setra

    May 15, 2017 at 3:33 pm

    This is great, and well done for keeping it up! #KCACOLS

  25. jeremy - thirstydaddy

    May 15, 2017 at 3:06 pm

    This is great. More and more lately I have been thinking about getting back into fiction writing. Seeing posts like this really get my motivation back into swing. #kcacols

  26. Amy

    May 15, 2017 at 2:54 pm

    I am so loving these! Keep it going! #kcacols

  27. Kirsty - Winnettes

    May 15, 2017 at 1:57 pm

    I love it! I like that you are making this a little series for your readers #KCACOLS

  28. The Hippy Christian Mum

    May 15, 2017 at 12:02 pm

    Ooh how lush is it when you’re really excited to to get it all down on ‘paper’! Keep going πŸ™‚ #KCACOLS

  29. Andrea @ Topsy Turvy Tribe

    May 15, 2017 at 11:07 am

    Very descriptive, in a good way! Looking forward to the next instalment #KCACOLS

  30. http://keep-mum.com

    May 14, 2017 at 11:30 pm

    this is great, gripping. #kcacols

  31. Sara

    May 14, 2017 at 11:02 pm

    I was waiting to read the rest, having read last week’s! You should definitely put this together as a separate novella. I love your style Tracey! #KCACOLS

  32. Musings of a tired mummy...zzz...

    May 14, 2017 at 8:22 pm

    Nice read, I am unsure of your audience as I haven’t read your other installments: I’m guessing older teen #KCACOLS

    1. tracey bowden

      May 14, 2017 at 8:23 pm

      Thanks yes it is aimed for the ya audience x

  33. Finn

    May 14, 2017 at 7:45 pm

    Really good. I’ve tried writing some fiction in the past but hadn’t thought of putting it on my blog. Now you’ve got me thinking!

    1. Finn

      May 14, 2017 at 7:46 pm

      Should have added #KCACOLS to previous comment – I’m new to this!

  34. Bread

    May 14, 2017 at 6:14 pm

    I’m really glad you decided to continue this. #kcacols

  35. Claire

    May 14, 2017 at 5:40 pm

    Ohh it’s interesting to read a short chapter like this, I usually burn through books so quickly but this keeps you in suspense! x #kcacols

  36. Tracey

    May 14, 2017 at 4:30 pm

    Great read, I’m as eager as Jonny to get to the next part! πŸ™‚ #kcacols

  37. mummy here and there

    May 14, 2017 at 3:05 pm

    Great read and really well descripted X #kcacols

  38. Helena

    May 14, 2017 at 2:50 pm

    This reminds me of the ya fiction of Meg Cabot. #KCACOLS

  39. Cassie

    May 14, 2017 at 12:51 pm

    You really know how to build up suspense don’t you girly! Loving it! Can’t wait for the rest.

    #KCACOLS

  40. Mama Grace

    May 14, 2017 at 9:18 am

    Some lovely writing. Hope this can progress into a novel #KCACOLS

  41. Nicola

    May 14, 2017 at 9:05 am

    I’m loving the story…looking forward to the next instalment! If you are interested in a bit of critique I would stick with one person’s point of view per chapter/instalment. This one starts with Ariel and then switches to Jonny which can be a bit confusing? Great story though..full of suspense and great characters πŸ™‚ #KCACOLS

    1. tracey bowden

      May 14, 2017 at 9:45 am

      Thank you so much. That’s really good to know thank you. I have the next part written entirely from Ariels point of view so hopefully, that will read better x

  42. Kerry

    May 14, 2017 at 8:18 am

    You write so well, will have to go back and read the whole story when I don’t have a toddler clambering on me haha! #KCACOLS

  43. Nicole | The Professional Mom Project

    May 14, 2017 at 1:49 am

    Great job continuing the story. Looking forward to the next post #KCACOLS

  44. Alex

    May 13, 2017 at 11:57 pm

    Love it. I like your writing style. (It’s spoken to Steve not spoke I think!?- sorry, but you did say you were open to criticism πŸ˜‰ It’s not criticism though, I thought the creative writing was brilliant. Nice one. #kcacols

    1. tracey bowden

      May 14, 2017 at 9:47 am

      Thank you so much. And yes, you are right. I missed that while editing thanks!

  45. Lydia C. Lee

    May 13, 2017 at 11:03 pm

    I do a short story link up on the first of the month (100 words exactly or less than 30 words) – it’s live now if you want to join in. I also often put up writing competitions on my fb page if you’re interested. I’m off to read the other parts #KCACOLS

  46. Ali Duke

    May 13, 2017 at 10:57 pm

    I am gripped once again. I cannot wait for the next part.
    #KCACOLS

  47. Rachel George, Ordinary Hopes

    May 13, 2017 at 10:39 pm

    I always enjoy reading your work. I am pleased to see the phrase “wittering on” as I use that a lot but rarely see it in print! #KCACOLS

  48. Fiona Cambouropoulos

    May 13, 2017 at 10:13 pm

    I love your descriptions, you really put the reader in touch with your writing and feeling every emotion #KCACOLS

  49. Pen

    May 13, 2017 at 10:06 pm

    OOOh, the suspense….
    Looking forward to the next instalment. Pen x #KCACOLS

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